-Good Communication-

The key to good communication is brevity.

Happy New year everyone!

-While They're Not Looking-

Krissy and I were very fortunate to get a girl and a boy when trying to have kids.  It means we won't have to take any chances with our reproductive efficiency.  I know several couples who have tons of kids because they kept trying for that boy or girl they didn't have yet.  In many ways it's funny; as long as it isn't happening to me.  Years ago, Krissy and I decided that we would stop at three kids no matter what.  The scary part is that twins run on both sides of both of our families. So I biggest fear was trying for the third one and having twins.  God's kind of a funny guy with that kind of thing. Luckily, we won't have to worry about that though.

Having kids is so much more intense than I ever imagined.  One night, shortly after Felicia was born, I was laying in bed and worked myself into full "pissed-offed-ness" by just thinking about the idea of someone trying to take her from us.  Seriously I was ready to hurt someone and the whole thing was just a hypothetical that I created myself.  But adversely, certain thoughts about my kids can bring great joy as well.

But I'd have to say that one of the best parts of having kids is just watching them.  Our five-year-old daughter, Felicia, is great to watch because she uses her imagination more and more everyday.  She dances around and sings pretends she a character from one of her books.  For Krissy and I, it's so beautiful to watch.  She is also blowing us away with how smart she is.  I don't like to be "that parent" that insists his kid smarter than everyone else's but seriously, she's amazing us.  We had our first parent/teacher conference with her Kindergarten teacher this year and she was going over what they call "sight words."  these are words that the kids are supposed to be able to read by just looking at them.  Of the 19 kids in her class she said most of them know between 4 and 9 sight words which is normal.  A few others knew up to 12 which was great. Felicia knew 44!  Yes, 44!  And at this point she is reading entire books on her own.

Our son, Ian, is about 16 months old.  He's load and often obnoxious.  He totally gets that from Krissy.  He is extremely curious.  He's always opening drawers and then closing them.  he likes taking the back off the remote controls and pulling the batteries out just to see if he can put it all back together.  He pushes buttons on the TV to change the channel or just turn it off.  Right now one of his favorite things to do is walk up to Felicia and just grab a handful of hair and then YANK.  Laughing hysterically the whole time.

I express all of this to let you know the sheer joy that comes with simply watching your children be themselves.  If you are a parent you probably know exactly what I mean.  But you know when the best time to watch your kids is?  When they don't know that you're doing it.  When they don't know they have an audience kids true personalities come out and when it is your kids, it can bring you to tears to see.  They dance just a little bit more freely. They sing just a little bit louder and out of key.  They get into just a little bit more mischief.  And they make a much bigger mess. It truly is one of the great joys of being a parent and I believe that God is trying to tell us something through it.

I have yet to meet anyone who has seen God face to face or to do so myself.  God is mysterious. I won't go as far as to say that He is hiding from us but I think there is a reason He doesn't just walk in and sit down next to us.  I know about the whole "humans can't actually see God and live," thing but I think there is more to it than that.  Because He is God and can do anything so if He really wanted to He could meet for lunch whenever or wherever.  So there must be more to it than that.

Through out scripture, we are referred to as "God's children."  From Genesis to Revelation God is constantly reminding us that we are His kids.  One of His most commonly used identities is even "Heavenly Father."  Well, maybe He thinks the best, most precious and rewarding times to watch His kids is when we don't know He's watching?  What if that's one of the reasons we don't see Him face to face.  Maybe one of the great joys of our Heavenly Father is simply watching His kids when they dance a little more freely, sing a little bit louder, and make a bigger mess.

I know that isn't the only reason God doesn't just show up at Taco Bell while we're having lunch. I know that it is much more complex than that.  But I also know what it is like to be a daddy.  I know the fears and laughter and joys and responsibilities that are attached to that title and I know how great it is sometimes to just watch your children.  And I think maybe God loves to watch us too.  I think He He takes great joy in our just making our way through this life He has given us. Thank you God for this life.  I hope that watching me will sometimes put a smile on your face.

-A Five-Year-Old's Philosophy-

My daughter goes through strange phases.  I'm not sure how common they are but Krissy and I have grown accustomed to them over the last few years.  What she'll do is get really concerned about something and then keep asking us about it over and over again.  For instance, not long ago she was worried about using the toilet.  Why?  Because she was petrified that the toilet would clog. So every time she had to go the bathroom she would ask us, "Am I going to have an overflow?" This kind of thing goes on for months at a time.  But with her new O.C.D. she once again illuminates to me a theological life lesson.

Lately her concern has been whether or not she'll get in trouble for saying something wrong or whining too much.  She'll say something innocently that she probably shouldn't say like, "Jingle bells homework smells the teacher's really mean," and I'll let her know that it's not very nice to say that her teacher is mean.  Especially considering how great her teacher is and how much Felicia really likes her.  But her response is what is interesting.  She'll then ask , "Can I say it in my head?"  She's asking me if it is wrong for her to THINK things but not say them out loud.  This puts Krissy and I in an awkward position but Felicia solved it for us one day when she started saying, "OK if I say it in my head I'll just ask God to forgive me."  It's so simple for her.

Jesus said a lot of very cool, life-changing, world-altering, culture-shattering things when He walked around ancient Israel.  One of His most well know concepts was the idea that each of us should strive for what He called a "childlike faith."  What exactly Jesus meant by this is debatable in our world today but Felicia's recent concerns have helped to point me in what I feel is the right direction about it. When she asks, "Can I say it in my head," and then solves her serious moral dilemma with, "OK if I say it in my head I'll just ask God to forgive me," she demonstrates a childlike faith.

First, her concern is rooted in the right place.  She isn't worried about where her next meal is coming from or whether or not the economy is going to turn around.  She is simply worried about doing the right thing.  She wants to make sure that even the things she THINKS are OK.  Her priority is being a good girl.  In fact, that is her only concern.  But she doesn't stop there.

Felicia is realistic enough to know that she probably won't always do, say or even think the right things.  So her very basic response is that she'll just ask God to forgive her and that'll be the end of it.  She isn't concerned whether or not He will, she simply accepts that the act of asking forgiveness will take care of it.  She also doesn't continue to beat herself up when it's over.  She tells God she's sorry and moves on with her day.

For a five-year-old, Felicia seems to have a lot of things worked out that I, at 30 years old, am still trying to wrap my mind around.  Fortunately for me, Felicia is there to teach me a few things about life, love, faith and God.  Her philosophy is a simple one really.  She just tries to be a good girl, the best girl she can be, and all she cares about being.  But when she fails.  When she says the wrong thing or even thinks something she's doesn't think she is supposed to, she simply asks God to forgive her and moves on with her life knowing that He will.  I think I need to do that.  To just try to be the best man that I can be and when I fail, to understand that God will forgive me and then move forward with my life; trying, once again, to be the best man I can be.

-Jesus, Krissy And Why You Should Be Like Them-

Earlier this week my wife, Krissy, started a new job and was pretty nervous.  This is the first time in 11 years she has changed the company she works for so she's entering unknown territory. But for the last 11 years, (roughly 84% of her adult life), Krissy had worked in a bank in various different positions.  Entry level, supervisory, district operations support and even as a branch manager.  Her new job will have her remaining in the banking industry as an Assistant Manager for a Washington Mutual branch.  But even while remaining in an industry she knows well, and despite being extremely qualified for the position she is assuming, she was nervous.  Personally, I thought she was being hypersensitive about it because her record and resume speak for themselves and there was no need for her to worry.  If you will indulge me, I'd like to take a few moments to brag about my wife.

Krissy is an alumni of California State University at Santa Barbara.  She is one of the few people I know that managed to graduate college in four years rather than five which, to me, is impressive enough.  But in her four years there, Krissy managed to get not one, but two bachelors degrees. One in Business and one in Communications.  In her professional life, Krissy was rapidly promoted from Supervisor, to Assistant Manager, and finally to Branch Manager by the time she was 24.  A few years later she gave birth to the first of our two children and decided to work only part time hours.  For the next several years, the company she worked for used her in several different ways.  She covered branches whose management team was struggling.  She trained new employees or developed current employees into supervisors.  She was placed in branches who were having operational difficulties and performing poorly on audits to help clean them up. She was a commodity and every manager in the region was requesting her assistance in one way or another.  How do I know this?  Because I worked for the same company as her and was a branch manager during her stint and the region's most sought after resource.  Please believe when I say I am not exaggerating the demand she was in.

If you add all this to the fact the she is an amazing mother for our daughter and son and that she is simply the greatest wife in history of the human race, (sorry guys... it's true), you'll see that Krissy really should have had no concern about the job she is now doing.  But she did.  She was worried she was getting in over her head.  She was worried that no one would like her.  She was worried that she wouldn't measure up to her resume.  She was worried that she just couldn't do it. But I think that's OK.

Just before he was arrested, Jesus was praying.  He knew what was coming and was stressed out about it.  All the anxiety and solitude and questions about whether he had done and said everything he was supposed to before his death culminated at that moment and he prayed that if there was any other way humanity could be restored then he'd like to go with Plan B.  But there was no other way.  There was no Plan B.  And Jesus continued on toward his own torture and execution knowing what was coming.

I talk about this moment of worry in Jesus' life because, to me, it really displays his humanity. Jesus was afraid.  Jesus was worried.  Jesus questioned his ability to do what needed to be done.  That is comforting to me.  Because if Jesus wasn't sure if he had the strength and fortitude to move forward then it's OK for Krissy, or me, or you to worry too.  It's OK to question our our ability sometimes.  In fact it's probably healthy.  It's OK to be afraid of failure as long as that fear causes us to focus instead of paralyzing us from moving forward.

Even though Jesus knew that the cross was temporary but his resurrection would be eternal, he was afraid.  Even though he knew that the power of creation was in him, he was nervous.  And even though he knew that time and time again he had seen and been a part of amazing miracles, he was full of anxiety.  And even though Krissy knew her new job was in an industry she was very familiar with, she was afraid.  Even though she knew that she was a valuable commodity in her previous job, she was nervous.  And even though she had countless experiences doing the exact things her new job would require of her, she was full of anxiety.  And it's OK.  Because like Jesus, her anxiety causes her to focus and move forward with strength and the will to do what must be done.  It's OK to be afraid.  It's OK to worry.  They can be your best friend if they help you focus.  But they can be your worst enemy if you let them paralyze you.  Which one will they be for you?

-R.I.P. Max-

A few years ago I had the opportunity and the privilege to visit Fiji on a short-term mission trip with a group of ministry students.  That trip remains one of the defining experiences of my ministerial life and I could tell you story after story of the amazing things that I either saw or got to be a part of.  But don't worry, I won't.  I do, however, have a story from that trip I'd like to share that has nothing to do with the ministry we were involved in on that trip.  It didn't happen during prayer, during a church service, during an evening event, or even during a meal.  It happened in a van.

The group was using two vans to get around and the van I was in was usually driven by one of our group members rather than by a Fijian local.  We were headed back to our Hotel for the night and speeding our way down a long, dark, single lane highway.  As our driver continued on, we noticed up ahead, a dog laying in the road.  We couldn't tell if it was dead or alive so to avoid it, our driver drifted over to the right in the lane of traffic headed in the opposite direction. (They drive on the left side of the road in Fiji and using the oncoming traffic lane to pass is perfectly legal there.)  As he swerved over, he noticed an oncoming car and so he sped up to try to get passed the dog before having to move back into the left lane thus avoiding a head-on collision. Despite what I am 50% sure was his best effort to avoid the dog, our driver was unable to pick up enough speed to avoid both the dog and the oncoming car.  He was forced to get back into the left lane just in time to run the dog over at a high speed.  Now, i can't be certain because it was so dark but I think the van managed to twist the dog in half.  If the animal was alive before we hit it, it sure wasn't anymore.  We named the dog Max.  When we got back to the hotel, you could see some of the remains of Max's innards on the wheel wells of the van.  It was very disturbing but we managed to make a joke out of it the rest of our trip.

I tell this story because I think our lives are like it more often than we think.  Max was in our way. We tried to avoid him but it just wasn't possible without risking the safety of the 8 people in the van.  So we hit him square on and at full speed.  We all have obstacles throughout our life and sometimes we can avoid them.  But other times... we simply have to hit them head on and at full speed.  Because if we don't, then the obstacle wins and hold us back from getting where we want to go.

I don't know where any of you are at in life really.  But i can promise you that if there isn't a dog laying in the road ahead of you right now, there will be soon.  Who knows what it'll be?  A relational obstacle, a spiritual obstacle, a financial obstacle, an emotional obstacle, or even a self-inflicted obstacle.  Whatever it is, you must be prepared to hit it head on and at full speed.  By all means try to avoid it.  Serve out of the way.  But something issues and problems and obstacles in life cannot be avoided and if that is the case; push the pedal down and and twist the obstacle in half.  The bump may be load and send you out of your seat and, like it was with Max, things may get messy.  But it might be the only way move forward and get to where you want to go.

In Philippians, Paul tells us to "not be anxious about anything."  Anxiety has a way of eating away at your joy.  It blocks out anything good that happens to be going on in your life so all you can see is the obstacle in front of you.  But Paul reminds us that worry and anxiety will get us nowhere.  That all it will do is overwhelm us chew up our hope and our joy.  This is not what God wants for us.

Some obstacles are unavoidable.  They're there in front of us and swerving right or left to go around them is simply not an option.  Even if we didn't put it there, sometimes Max is just unavoidable.  So I say hit it.  Hit it head on and at full speed.  The bump will be big but will end.  If it throws you out of your seat you will eventually come back down.  If it gets messy you can clean it up later.  Hit it head on and then watch it fade away behind you as you continue moving forward.

P.S.

I have kept the drivers name anonymous in case there are animal lovers out there who would seek to exact vengeance on  him for Max's death.

P.P.S.

This blog post is dedicated in memoriam of Max the dog.  Thanks for giving all of us in that van an experience we won't forget.  Rest in peace boy. Rest in peace.

-Perpetual Infection of Siblings Syndrome-

My one year old son, Ian, has been sick this week.  It's the first time he has really thrown up so he has no clue what's going on.  The odd thing is that he doesn't have a fever and he's acting totally normal except for the whole horking up chinks of food thing.  Then there's the joy of the obligatory parental clean of the chunks.  Yeah, not exciting stuff.  But if you have multiple kids, you know what I mean when I say there is an even greater concern when one gets sick.  It's called PISS, Perpetual Infection of Siblings Syndrome.  It's a real disease with doctors and drugs and everything.

OK so maybe it's not but it does actually happen so we will treat it like it is.  The general rule of PISS is that one sibling will pass it on to another and they will continue to pass it back and forth for what seems like forever.  The more kids you have, the longer PISS generally lasts.  there is also no real form of prevention.  It's like swimming in a public pool...there's just no way to keep the PISS off of you.  Often times PISS is followed by Chronic Release to Adult Parents or CRAP for short.  If this happens, there is an 87% chance that at least one person in your home will be sick for 10.7 consecutive months.  And don't even get me started on what happens if you have pets.

Krissy and I are currently trying to minimize the effect of PISS and CRAP in out home and scientists are hard at work trying to find a prevention measure.  But until that glorious day finally arrives the rule is simple:  When one of us is sick, we're all sick.  I think this is how it's supposed to be though.

We have a bad habit, as Christians, of alienating other Christians when they have made mistakes and allowed temptation to get the best of them.  People who were once considered close friends are all of the sudden ostracized because they slept with their boyfriend, got caught looking at internet porn, are struggling with alcoholism, or voted for a democrat.  Why do we do this?  Why is it that when these people need the love and support of Christ the most, His representatives, Christians, shun them like they're the Antichrist?  Even an elementary reading of the Gospels would conclude that this is not how Jesus acted or intended us to act.

Christians, every one of us together, are described in the New Testament as "the Body of Christ."  In alienating and ostracizing other Christians we are effectively amputating a part of the body that isn't even infected yet; just wounded.  If I get pneumonia I don't rip my lungs out of my chest because they're making me feel bad.  I devote my energy into helping them heal so that my whole body can function properly once again.  I think this is what Jesus had in mind.

I think He put us here and connected us together as a family of faith.  he gave us a new commandment that we love one another.  He actually used the word commandment not suggestion.  I know it sounds strange, but as a family of faith I think the PISS and CRAP rules apply.  When one of us is sick, we're all sick.  And we should spend our energy helping heal the illness rather than trying to just pull it out of our chest.

P.S.

When I stated that Christians ostracize people for "voting for a democrat" I, in no way, meant to indicate that there is something wrong with democrats who Christians who vote democrat.  I was simply pointing out that many Christians get all worked up over the republican/democrat debate and believe, for whatever reason, that the republicans actually care about the causes of Christ and that democrats worship Satan.  Both perceptions are absurd.

-Don't Stop In Fog-

It was foggy when I drove into the office this morning.  Not too bad but enough to make you pay a little more attention than you normally do.  I got in my car, pulled out of the driveway and headed toward the freeway to get to work.  As I trekked the thin fog I made sure to keep my speed down a little from what it usually is and to turn my headlights on.  I began to remember times when I drove through dense fog.  Fog that made it difficult to see even 20 feet feet in front of me.

I was on the 71 during most of these times, heading home late at night to Corona from San Dimas where Krissy lived when we were dating.  The fog got so bad at some points that me and the few other drivers on the road turned on our hazard lights for a little more visibility.  at first I wasn't sure if this was a great move but then I saw a CHP unit that was doing the same thing so I figured it was OK.  I would also slow down quite a bit as to not come up behind another car too fast.  But one thing I didn't do, ever, was stop.  Because stopping and sitting there until the fog clears up could do more harm and be a grater risk than if I just kept moving forward.

Stopping in that situation would be a huge mistake.  Not only would I not get to where i was going, but I would put my vehicle and myself in danger too.  When things get foggy while driving, you should continue to move forward at a safer slower pace but you shouldn't actually stop.  I think the same is true for our spiritual life as well.

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard Christians say that they aren't moving forward with something because they are "waiting on God."  I hate that expression.  I think most of the time it's just an excuse to not actually make a decision or have to do something.  Don't get me wrong, I know that there are some people who are honestly and earnestly seeking God's direction, but most of the time I don't think this is the case.  I think most of the time we think if we move we'll fail and so we fail to move.

I think the biggest reason I hear for this failure to move is that we want to make sure that this is what God wants us to do.  Whether is has to do with school, work, relationships, ministry or whatever else, many Christians are totally paranoid about making a move or a change that they want to make because they're afraid that it's not what God really wants.  They know where they want to go, but the road seems a little foggy and the way isn't crystal clear so they just stop.  So how should we handle these situations?

Psalm 37:4 says: "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of you heart."  Many of us have heard this verse over and over again but I think we miss all of what it is saying.  We read it to mean that if we honor God and seek Him, he will give us the things that our hearts want most.  While there is some truth to this, I think it's only half of the real meaning here.  I read it as saying that if we honor God and seek Him, then He will give our hearts the things that they should desire.  It's the same verse from a different angle.

This view of this verse has given me permission to move forward even if the road in front of me is foggy.  because rather than knowing I want to do something and having to wait for God's answer as to whether or not I should do it, I view my desire to do it as His answer.  in other words, God is the one who gave me the desire to do it in the first place.  if what I am seeking is not destructive to myself, to others, or to the church, then what is my hesitation?  If it honors God, then I move forward believing He is the one who put that desire in my heart.

Sometimes the way is crystal clear and I can coast forward with great speed and ease because God has cleared the path for miles ahead.  Sometimes the way isn't so clear though.  It is during these times when i proceed with caution, slowing my pace and taking steps to avoid damaging myself or the vehicle carrying me.  But I don't stop moving forward.  because stopping and sitting there until the fog clears up could do more harm and be a greater risk than if I just kept moving forward.

Are you waiting to hear from God about something before you move on it?  Is there a choice you want to make or something you want to do but are afraid of doing it because the road in front of you seems foggy?  Why are you waiting?  If what you want to do is not destructive to you, to others, or to the church then maybe your desire to do it is the answer you're looking for.  Sure, if the road isn't clear, you should proceed with caution.  But don't just sit there. Move forward through the fog.  Don't just sit in it.

-How Many Times Do I Have To Ask?-

So last week I began a two part “blog series” with the idea that when Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me more than these?” He was talking about the fish that Peter had just caught. I won’t recap it because if you really want to, you can just read it again so I’ll just pick up where we left off in the 17th Chapter of John’s Gospel. Continuing from last week it reads:

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "You know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep." The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!"

So here is Jesus who just guts Peter by asking him whether or not he loves Him more than some dead fish and Peter responds by saying, quite sincerely, that Jesus already knows that he love Him. But then Jesus asks again, and then a third time and Peter responds the same way each time. But the third time Jesus asked, John records that, “Peter was hurt.” Why was Peter hurt? The common teaching I’ve heard on this is that Jesus asked Peter three times because Peter had denied Jesus three times and by affirming his love for Jesus three times, Peter was now “even” and could once again assume his role an Apostle. I think there is much validity in this reasoning but I think it misses it a little.

If you read the Gospels, you will see they paint a picture of Peter as someone who is very self-deprecating. Peter strikes me as a man who wants to do the right thing so bad, that sometimes he speaks or acts too soon. In fact, Jesus corrects Peter more times in the Gospels than the other 11 apostles combined. In short, all his mistakes weigh heavily on Peter and he demonstrates very little self-esteem. Peter seems to have the idea that he can’t do anything right. I mean look at his occupation. He was a fisherman by trade but both times we see him fishing in the Gospels, he sucks at it. Seriously, the only recorded times of Peter catching any fish are because Jesus intervened. So what does all this have to do with Jesus asking Peter if he loves Him three times? Jesus was making a point.

Of course Peter loved Jesus. Peter knew and Jesus knew it. Peter even said, “You know that I love you,” all three times Jesus asked. I think Jesus real message was more about making Peter feel OK about what happened than anything else. He didn’t ask him so that Peter would be “even.” Jesus’ death and resurrection already made Peter “even” and Jesus would have known this. This questioning was about Peter knowing he was “even.” It says “Peter was hurt,” when Jesus asked the third time because in asking three times, Jesus is once again saying so much more. Can you hear the rant hidden so gently in Jesus’ words? “There Peter! If you say you love me three times will you stop feeling sorry for yourself? If you feel like I know you love me will you get over this whole denying me thing? Can’t you understand? Do you know why you suck at fishing? It’s because it’s not what you’re supposed to be doing! I told you when we met that, “From now on you will fish for men.” Do you know what “from now on means?” So get up and lets go! Stop feeling sorry for yourself! You have no idea how much of an impact your life will have on this world. So take my hands, the ones with holes in them that were put there so could stop feeling guilty, get up and get moving.”

Jesus wanted to Peter to accept the fact that the past is that past and not the present. Jesus wanted Peter to accept that he had denied Him but to also accept the fact that Jesus is already past that. Maybe Peter couldn’t let it go but he could certainly move on. And the same is true for us. What is it about you that you can’t move on from? What is holding you back from being what Jesus has called you to be? Not just your occupation but your effectiveness. What is it that is holding you back and how many times does Jesus have to ask YOU if you love Him before you finally get it? For Peter, it only took three times. I think for most of us, it’ll take more. So the next time you meditate on Jesus. The next time you are in prayer. Listen for His voice. Listen for that question. Because He’ll ask it as many times as He has to until it sinks in. “Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?”

-What's Your "These"?-

So this is actually going to be a two-part blog about a few things that have been working on me lately. Fortunately for anyone reading this, I have no story to tell to lead into my point like I usually do. But I want to discuss a couple of things that have been on my mind. Not detail things but big picture things about life. Both topics can be pulled from the story of an encounter that the disciples, and more specifically Peter, had with Jesus after His death and resurrection. The story is found recorded by John in the 21st chapter of his gospel. Verses 11-15 read:

"Simon Peter climbed aboard and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, "Come and have breakfast." None of the disciples dared ask him, "Who are you?" They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead. When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"

If you’re anything like me, when you read this and get to the part where Jesus asked Peter if he loves Him, “more than these,” your first inclination is to think the “these” Jesus is talking about are the other disciples. But when we really consider that question, wouldn’t it be an inappropriate thing for Jesus to ask given that the other disciples were all sitting right there? And wouldn’t be even more inappropriate and arrogant for Peter to respond, “yes I do.” Especially when you consider that the author of this gospel refers to himself as, “the disciple whom Jesus loved,” throughout the gospel. When I really started thinking about it, I can’t imagine Jesus was talking about the other disciples. So then who are the “these” Jesus is talking about?

If we examine the story a little closer we see that the disciples had just been fishing, (unsuccessfully), but once again Jesus showed up and helped out. Exactly like he did the first time Peter met him. We are told that they dragged the net in and there were 153 large fish and that they ate some of them for breakfast. When they are done eating, Jesus poses His question to Peter. I am convinced that the “these” in Jesus’ question were the fish. Jesus was asking Peter if he loved Him more than he did the fish. But why?

Well, if you’ll recall, Peter was a fisherman prior to being one of Jesus’ talmudim, (disciples). It was the family business and, before following Jesus around for about three years, it’s all he knew. Then something Peter did not plan happened. Jesus was arrested and executed. Peter was crushed. His Rabbi and Messiah had been killed. Then a few days later Peter was told that Jesus had risen from His grave. Not long after this Jesus actually appeared before Peter and others and proved His resurrection to them. How frightening, and beautiful would that be to Peter? But Jesus’ appearances were erratic and unpredictable so Peter couldn’t just follow Him around like he had before. So, not knowing what to do, Peter went back to the only life he knew. He went back into the family business and started fishing again. An interesting decision I think and I don’t think it was the one Jesus was hoping for. So He paid Peter another visit and asked him, “Do you love me more than these (fish)?” Because when you meet the resurrected Jesus, life shouldn’t ever be the same.

Jesus question to Peter was to prod him in the right direction. You can almost taste the divine sarcasm of such a question. In those seven words Jesus was able to convey several questions to Peter. “You’re fishing again Peter? Weren’t you paying attention Peter? Who gave you the name Peter to begin with? Do you remember when I first called you that? It’s because you knew who I really am. You were the first to say it out loud. I named you Peter, (rock), because there is strength in you. There is power inside of you Peter. And here you are, right back where I found you…fishing. God has made you for so much more!”

Peter loved Jesus and knew, even more than we do today, that Jesus was and is the Christ. He followed Jesus for three years of his life and was even willing to kill to defend Him. But obviously Peter allowed areas of his life to be totally unaffected by his encounters with the resurrected Christ. And Jesus wasn’t about to let that slip by. So He did something about it.

I think many of us Christians today are the exact same way. We have met the resurrected Jesus. We get filled with zeal and passion. Then when we don’t “see” Him for a while our lives go back to business as usual. But God has created us for more than just business as usual. Our WHOILE life should be transformed not just the bits and pieces that make us feel “right.” Jesus asked, “Do you love me more than these?” For Peter, the “these” were fish. If Jesus visited you, and asked you the same question, what would you “these” be? What would your “these” be?

“Do you love me more than these?”
-Jesus

-Well or Good?-

I love my daughter. I know that's an obvious statement that most parents can and will make, (providing that they have a daughter), but I like making it anyway. Felix, (her name is Felicia but we call her Felix), and I have the quintessential daddy-daughter thing going and I couldn't love it more. She is amaz-za-zing. She looks like her mom but talks like her dad. Seriously, she is a sarcasm prodigy. One of our friends once said that watching her is like seeing Krissy act like me. A frightening thought in theory but somehow Felix makes it work and I fall more and more in love with her every day.

As part of being her daddy, I usually put Felix to bed at night. This consists of reading her a story, praying with her, and then dealing with about 15 minutes of her stalling with things like wanting "cold water" or another hug and kiss or her ceiling fan on or a tissue or a specific doll or a different CD in her radio. She has mastered drawing out her bedtime process sometimes causing me intense frustration. But generally, I get over it.

As I said, part of this process is that she and I pray together. We take turns with one of us praying one night and the other the next. When Felix prays, she will usually make sure to pray for each person in our family individually. Whether she does this out of genuine love or out of a desire to stall bedtime a little longer, I'm not sure. Probably a little of both. But as she was doing this last week she asked God, "Help Ian to grow big and strong. Help me to not get in trouble. Help mommy not have a headache," (something I pray for constantly as well), "And help daddy do good at church…" And with those words my five-year-old daughter gave me yet another lesson to consider.

For those of you who don't know, I work at a church. So Felix was simply intending to pray for me to do the best job I can while at work. But her choice of words is important. She said, "Help daddy do GOOD at church." Grammatically this sentence is not proper for the way she intended it. She meant, "Help daddy do WELL," but that's not what she said. Dictionary.com defines well as "commendably, meritoriously, or excellently." But it defines good as "morally excellent; virtuous; righteous." The difference isn't exactly subtle.

We all want to do well. We want to achieve new things and accomplish certain goals and complete certain tasks. We want to ensure that we will continue to have a job so we can pay our bills and support ourselves and/or our families. We want to be recognized as being proficient at what we do and have the respect from others that comes along with it. We all want to do well. Unfortunately, our culture has become obsessed with doing well even at the expense of doing good. Yes, we all want to do well. But not everybody cares about doing good.

Doing good is harder than doing well. It requires us to think outside of our own agendas and our own goals. It requires us to act in a selfless manner. Doing good requires that we actually care. Doing good requires that we act for the benefit of someone else and usually calls for some degree of personal sacrifice. Doing good is harder than doing well. Because doing good requires that we do well. But doing well doesn't require that we do good.

To do the most good I can I must also achieve personally. If I do well I will invariably have more opportunity to do good. More time, more resources, more insight and more experience are all byproducts of doing well. Therefore I will be able to turn around and use those things to do good. In short, the better I am at doing well, the more opportunity I'll have to do good.

But our culture has made it so easy to just achieve. I mean think about it; how do we measure someone's importance to society? If they have the bigger house, nicer car, better boat, greater education and fancier title they are considered more important. But how many people have all of those things but allow it to only benefit themselves? Compare that to the person who lives in a modest home, drives a Chevy Malibu, doesn't have a boat and has the title of auto mechanic but takes time each week to volunteer at a soup kitchen, or gives money to organizations that dig wells for people in Africa. Which one has directly made a more valuable impact on those around them? That's the difference really. We do well for ourselves but be do good for others.
In my life and in my job doing well is similar to other jobs. It means hitting goals and accomplishing certain tasks. It means learning and growing and maintaining. But even in a church, no especially in a church, just because I've done well doesn't mean I've done good. And sometimes it's easy to lose sight of which is more important. Well or good? Well or good? Well or good?

-Tweet Me A Life Lesson-

On my way in this morning my phone beeped alerting me that I had just received a text message. Being the irresponsible driver that I am, I grabbed my phone and diverted my attention from the road in front of me to the small 1.5’ by 2.5’ screen on my LG Voyager phone. I feel like I should have a “Don’t text and drive” disclaimer at this point but really, would anyone care what I have to say on this subject? Especially after just confessing to do it myself. I will say that if you’re in California, texting and driving will be illegal come January so there you go. Anyway, on with the story.

The text was actually a “tweet”; that is to say it was an update from someone I’m following on twitter. The tweet came via a good friend and mentor of mine named Billy, (yes, the same Billy I mentioned in last week’s post); indicating that today, October 15, 2008 is his and his wife’s 20th wedding anniversary. 20 years is a long time. Some of you reading this may not even have been alive for 20 years yet so you know what I mean. To be cohabitating, loving, being loved by, learning, raising kids, paying bills, cleaning, working, and growing with someone for 20 years is pretty impressive I think. It makes my seven years of marriage seem quite minimal but based on my seven years, (not a single one of which I would trade in or change), I can say with confidence that going 20 takes a lot of love, patience, understanding, compromise and most importantly…arguing. Because you can’t live with someone for 20 years without having a few yelling matches. What fun would that be? So how have my friend Billy and his awesome wife Annie managed to do it? He once told me about their marriage philosophy which I will share with you. At least, what I took from it.

Most people probably view marriage as a 50/50 type of an arrangement. It’s a “give and take” philosophy about knowing when to give and knowing when to take at the right times as to make both of you relatively satisfied that you are getting as much out of the marriage relationship as you are giving to it. In short, the idea is to give 50% of the time and take 50% and both of you will break even in the end. On the surface this seems like a great arrangement. A simple and logical, mathematical formula ensuring the “contentness” of all parties involved. The problem is that relationships, especially marriage relationships, are anything but simple, logical and mathematical. They are messy and abstract without fixed lines and permanent definitions. Knowing this, Billy and Annie have developed a different formula.

Billy once told me that in his marriage they do their best to apply not a 50/50 type of philosophy, but a 100/100 one. The idea is that if they are giving 100% of themselves to their spouse and their spouse is giving 100% to them, it becomes a win-win scenario. This made such a huge impact on me because Billy and I had this conversation shortly before my wife and I married. Now, when we talked about it, it just seemed to flow naturally out of the conversation we were having. But as I look back to that conversation knowing what I now know about Billy, I think that he was steering the conversation in that direction intentionally to help set me up to have a healthy marriage.

I loved this philosophy from the word “go” and Krissy and I have done our best to use it in our own marriage. Sometimes we’re successful, sometimes we’re not. I have also found this idea to be a manifestation of how the Apostle Paul describes the marriage relationship in 1st Corinthians 7:4. He writes, “The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.” Billy and Annie give 100% of themselves to one another because they realize that they belong to each other and not just themselves. I think this is beautiful.

But today, as I read Billy’s tweet and marveled at how awesome it is to see two people love each other so much for so long a time, I began to expand their philosophy beyond marriage and ask myself a few questions. What if I gave 100% of myself to my children too? What if I gave 100% of myself to my friends? My co-workers? My neighbors? My Bankers? My grocery store clerks? My waitresses? My fellow commuters? What if I gave 100% of myself to my fellow human beings everywhere? What would that look like? Is that what Jesus had in mind when he said, “Love one another. As I have loved you so you must love one another.”?

What if I could do that? And what if I could, by doing it, inspire others to give 100% of themselves as well? What would that look like? Imagine. What would that look like? I think it would be beautiful.


P.S.

Thanks Billy. You continue to challenge me toward greatness without even trying or know that you’re doing it. People like you don’t come around often and I’m glad God put me in your flight path.

-Who Are You Really?-

Not too long ago I was having lunch with a friend, (another Pastor), and he was telling about a speaker he had recently went to see. As he recanted his experience of seeing and listening to this man, you could tell how deeply the experience affected him. It was obviously a defining moment in his life and he was adamant about not walking away from the experience unchanged. I have much admiration for this attitude of his and have really let his response to that experience speak into my life as well.

When the speaker was finished and the event was drawing to a close, my friend approached him to speak with him. As he told me about his conversation with the man something he said struck me. He said he told the man, "Whatever it is that you have, I want it." I have heard that statement before over and over again actually and usually not in the same way that my friend meant it. I know what my friend meant when he said it and I admire his tenacity in going our and trying to become who he was made to be. But usually when I hear the statement, "Whatever it is you have, I want it," it means something else.

In the Pentecostal environments I have been in, this statement usually has something to do with obtaining some gift or power instilled by the Holy Spirit. There have been several "movements of the Spirit" over the past 15 years or so and that is when I hear this statement most. The problem with this statement is that it is the very definition of envy, which the Bible tells us is a sin. This puts me in an awkward place when I hear the statement.

For me, the idea of wanting what someone else has is an issue of discontent with what you do have. Even when it comes to Spiritual gifts, which are good things, it creates an attitude of discontent. When we want the gifts and abilities that God has given someone else, what we are saying is that we are not happy with the gifts and abilities that He has given us. We are saying that we would rather have what God wants for others than what God designed for us. This can be such a destructive way to view things.

In almost every ministry position I've held, paid or unpaid, I have made this error. I have tried to be someone else. Someone I wasn't created to be. I modeled my speaking style after someone else, my speaking content after someone else, my administrative strategy after someone else, my mentoring style after someone else, and in doing so I left no trace of myself in any of it. This only works for so long. The person I really was invariably began to come out, often to the detriment of the persona I was trying to create. One day I decided to stop trying to be a carbon copy of my mentors and only recently have I really begun to get a sense of who I am in ministry. This process is ongoing still today as I try to glean lessons and wisdom from what my mentors have taught me rather than try to become my mentors themselves.

To give you an example of what I mean I need to tell you about one of my mentors. His name is Billy and he is a natural born mentor. He invests himself fully into people and sometimes even gets hurt because of it. He feels deeply for people and because of this he bears their burdens with them. It also makes him a bit of crier but we won't get into all of that. Because Billy is so gifted at connecting with and raising up others, I tried to model myself after him when I was attempting to mentor others. The problem with this is that, even though Billy and I have some similarities, we are very different people. So my trying to become him was actually destructive to my goal of mentoring others. What I am now learning to do is take the things I learned from him and altar them to fit my personality and skill-set rather then altar my personality and skill-set to fit the lessons. Lessons from him like, "Be intentional about bringing them into your world," or "Ask them the tough questions," are easily transferable into any context and I missed the point years ago when he taught me these things.

I am finally in a place where I am not only content with who God is making me into but excited about it. Billy is one of many mentors whose lessons are paying off huge dividends currently because I have learned the hard lesson of being who I am. Being who God created me to be. So next time you find yourself wishing you were more like someone else or wishing you had something they have, please, learn from my mistakes rather than repeating them, and altar the lesson to fit your personality rather than trying to altar your personality to fit the lesson. Because who you really are will always come pouring out and usually at very inconvenient times.

-What Eric Clapton Taught Me About Life-

I have a very specific way to read books. I didn’t copy it from anyone nor was it ever suggested to me to read books this way. It has simply evolved over time to what it is today and it seems to work for me. The way it works is like this.

I am usually reading three books at any given time. One of them is my primary book that is the one I read most often. Usually this book is about faith, life, or self-improvement of some type. The goal is for it to challenge the way I think and give me different perspectives on life, leadership, ministry, relationships, faith and abstract things like that. The second of the two is generally very informational. Lost of facts, statistics, timetables, and words I have to look up in order to understand. These books usually feed the left side of my brain and often times are very tough reads but have great information. The last of the three books is usually a book that I am strictly reading for enjoyment. Sometimes fiction and sometimes not, they usually pertain to subjects like music, mythology, politics, or history. Sometimes, such as currently, I supplement these books with a fourth just for kicks. A fourth book has no set agenda it’s just a book I want to read for one reason or another and it usually takes me a long time to get through it. The books I’m in right now are:

1. “Who Stole My Church?”, by Gordon MacDonald
2. “The Language of God”, by Francis S. Collins
3. “Clapton – The Autobiography”, by Eric Clapton
4. “A History of God”, by Karen Armstrong

The strange thing about my current reading list is how much I am actually learning about myself from reading Eric Clapton’s autobiography. Now, if you don’t know who Eric Clapton is then I’m sorry, I don’t think we can be friends. Never the less I’ll explain that he is a guitar virtuoso and one of the most famous musicians of all time. His career is now in it’s fifth decade and he is arguably the best guitar player alive today and possibly ever.

In his autobiography, Clapton spends time first describing his addiction to heroine for a few chapters and then describes his alcoholism for a few more. From the early 60’s to the 80’s the guy did everything and everyone he could. Eric Clapton, it seems, is addicted to addictions.

This idea got me thinking about myself. You see, moderation does not come naturally to me. One look at me and you’ll think, “Wow, that guy really likes fried food and cheesecake,” and you’d be absolutely right. But my “addictive personality” stretches far beyond food. I, (like many parents I know), am also addicted to my children’s laughter. But it doesn’t stop there either. I’m addicted to my wife’s smile, (and other things about my wife I won’t mention here), spending time with friends, certain songs, my faith, Dr. Pepper, “Heroes”, and sarcasm. It seems that I, like Clapton, am addicted to addictions.

This type of personality has some very huge plusses. It means that I commit to things 100%. It means I am loyal and value loyalty. It means once I commit to something I see it out to either its success or it’s dismal failure. It means that I would take a bullet for those close to me without hesitation. It means that when people around me succeed, it is a victory for me too.

Unfortunately, it also comes with serious personality flaws. It means I can be hurt easily. It means I get frustrated easily. It means I have a hard time seeing when it’s time to cut my losses and give up on something that is destined for failure. It means I don’t know when to shut my mouth. It means I lose sleep if everything isn’t full of roses and sugar-cookies. It means I can be really paranoid and take things way too personally. It means I can be way too competitive even in the trivial things. Basically, it means I’m a basket case.

But reading Clapton’s descriptions of his battles with addictions makes me realize that we all struggle with ourselves. Even guitar gods. Even Presidents. Even mega-church pastors and world-famous evangelists. Even powerful C.E.O.’s. Even Biblical heroes. Even Hollywood royalty. Even violent dictators. Even brilliant scientists. And even obscure bloggers in Central California. It’s all of us. Every last soul on earth.

I am learning that my weaknesses are a part of me even when they get in my way. I am learning that I am wired like this for a reason even if I haven’t discovered it yet. I am learning that God knew what he was doing when he created me even if I don’t. I am learning to rely on my strengths even when I can’t predict the outcome. I am learning to be cautious of my weaknesses even when every fiber of my being wants to just ignore the writing on the wall and push through. I am learning that the struggle to “have it all together” is one I can never win. But I am also learning that that struggle is still worth it to make. Because nothing with true value ever comes without a struggle.

And that is what Eric Clapton taught me about life.

-McChristianity-

A few days ago lunchtime rolled around and my wife and I decided to go to McDonalds. That is to say, my wife decided that I should go to McDonalds and pick lunch up for us. So I did. It was a typical McDonalds experience for the most part; except that in Fresno, where I live now, McDonalds is much slower then they are in Corona where I grew up. I drove up, waited for them to take my order, paid them, received my food praying that they didn’t put ketchup on it, and drove home.

A few days later I was on my way home and was jonesing for a double-double and some animal-style fries. So I pulled into In-N-Out to get my fix and the experience was completely different than the one days before at Mickey D’s. They asked me how I was, (I was well). They asked what I wanted, (I gave them my order). They asked if I wanted grilled onions, (I did). They repeated my order to make sure it was accurate, (it was). They asked if I was going to eat it my car, (I was not). I pulled forward to pay for my food and was greeted with a smile, and another repeat of my order to make sure I was paying for the right thing. They asked if I needed a drink holder, if I’d like ketchup, and told me to feel free to check my bags and make sure everything looked right. I was thanked for my business and told that they hope I have a great day.

Driving home, I was struck by the dichotomy of my two fast food experiences. It wasn’t that McDonalds did anything wrong really, it’s just that In-N-Out took the exact same process and put a better attitude on it resulting in a much more enjoyable experience and greater desire to return there. Which got me to thinking about Christians and our behavior.

I think that many Christians today treat our church and faith like a McDonalds employee as opposed to an In-N-Out employee. Or to put it another way, a lot of people in churches today are McChristians. What I mean is that our attitudes toward our faith don’t come across as someone who is excited about Jesus, church or Christianity in general. We don’t smile enough. Our focus doesn’t seem to be in the here and now. We seem to be just getting through our life so we can die and go to heaven like a McDonalds employee would get through the day so that they could go home. We certainly don’t seem to be a group of people who “rejoice” like Paul did.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we should walk around with plastic smiles and pretend to be happy; we definitely shouldn’t. Because happiness is temporary but joy is permanent and I want to live my life displaying joy. To have an attitude that compels others to want to take a second, third, and fourth look at Christianity because of the peace it seems to bring me here and now.

The problem with McCristianity is that the focus is on somewhere else. The central idea is to make my way through life so that when I die I will finally be happy because I’ll get to go to Heaven. I won’t have to put up with this horrible, corrupt, dangerous, and sinful world anymore. I’ll finally be free of it. But we are ALREADY free of it. The Bible is very clear on this and yet we still harbor the “this life is bad” attitude. Yes the world can be scary and sinful and cruel and dangerous but it can also be beautiful and true and good and pure. In fact that is exactly what Jesus wants US to make it.

In what we call “The Lord’s Prayer,” (because we feel the need to label everything Jesus said), Jesus says “Your Kingdom come.” He is asking God for His Kingdom, Heaven, to “come” here to Earth. That is what we’re supposed to want. He didn’t say “Bring us to Your Kingdom.” Jesus wants us to be God’s Kingdom on Earth. But how can I do this if I’m so focused on getting to Heaven. It seems Jesus’ focus was on getting Heaven HERE. McChristianity is robbing the Gospel of one of its central messages, “The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand,” and it is our job to do change this; to get out of the rut of McChristianity and display an attitude of joy in the here and now.

Believe me when I say I have conformed to McCristianity myself many, many times. It has a way of subtly taking hold of us and robbing us of the joy that is already ours to claim. But if we really want to take Jesus seriously; if we really want to complete the mission he has given us, then we have to throw it all out. We have to get rid of every part of McChristianity. That means understanding that the gospel is a lifestyle and not just a message. That means living a life of joy and not just happiness. That means learning that Jesus death on the cross was about His glory and not just our salvation. That means being people that God can out of and not just pour in to. And that means being the church and not just going to church.

As Christians we do not work for God Inc. and our church is not a franchise. It isn’t McChurch. When people start treating it like McChruch then it becomes a place to go to have YOUR needs met rather than a place to help meet the needs of others. We have to get out of the McChristianity attitude because people don’t come the church to get an order of salvation with a side of spiritual gifts. We have to get rid of McChurch because Jesus deserves and desires people that will use their time in this world to make it a better and more beautiful place. When God created the world, He said that it was “good.” But good isn’t perfect which means that the world had some growing and advancing to do from day one. That’s our job. Making the world better. Will we do it? Not as long as we’re McChristians.

-A 2000 Year Conversation-

2000 years is a long time. To me it is anyway. I’m sure some historians and scientists wouldn’t say so because they are used to thinking in terms of millions of years, but for the average Joe on the planet, 2000 years is slightly further back then we can remember. 2000 years ago the Roman Empire was the dominant force in the world and now Rome exists only as a city in Italy. Technologically, we’ve come further in the last two hundred years than we have for the entire time of human history before it. 2000 years could quite easily span over 70 generations of human families. All this to say that a lot can happen in 2000 years.

As I’m sure you are aware, it was about 2000 years ago that Christianity was born. Some followers of a Jewish Rabbi whose name was Jesus, were so devoted to Him that they began teaching others about Him after his departure from this world. They taught that he was the “Christ,” (meaning “anointed one” or “messiah”). Among the leaders of this early movement were men named Peter, John, Saul (who later was referred to as Paul because he lived mainly among Greeks), and James, the half-brother of Jesus. There were many other profoundly important figures in the early Christian movement like Barnabas, Timothy, Matthew, Mark, Stephen, James (a different one), and Silas but the four I mentioned first, were the major influencers of the time, Peter and Paul in particular.

These men, and others, began teaching and writing and recruiting and ultimately, defining what it meant and looked like to be a Christian. Some of the things they wrote demonstrated an almost supernatural quality to them that was able get inside your head and heart and change you at the very core of who you were. Because of this, some of these writings began to be looked at, as God-inspired scripture even while the authors were still alive. We know these writings as The New Testament and scholars and theologians and pastors and reformers and even average Joe’s have been discussing and deciphering these writings now for almost 2000 years.

Over those 2000 years, many conclusions have been drawn about these writings. Theories and dogma have been derived all citing passages and books of the New Testament as evidence of their validity. Calvinism, Armenianism, the TULIP principles, millennialism, amillennialism, election, eternal security, pre, mid and post tribulation theories, and the Trinity are all deep and complex issues that have been discussed over the last two millennia. But we haven’t stopped there. Social propriety and practices have also been discussed and debated. Polygamy, sexuality, slavery, abortion, war, response to the poor, appropriate forms of greeting, dancing, genres of music and other arts, hair length, dress, the role of men and women in the church and home, marriage, divorce, child rearing, and work habits have also found their way into our discussion of the text. What’s funny is how often the conclusion of one Christian directly contradicts the conclusion of another. The bottom line is, Christians have talked a lot over the last 2000 years.

I don’t want to disparage this practice at all. It is through these discussions and debates that we can learn and grow. In our examination of these writings we sometimes find an eternal truth we did not know before. We find answers to questions. But I think that if we are doing it right, the answers we find will also bring us more questions. And so goes the peeling of the endless layers of scripture and the discovery of ultimate truth that is found in God. Personally, I love the debate and discussion. But sometimes I wonder if, in our zeal and desire to dissect every letter of Scripture, we loose sight of the big picture.

At the center of our faith and worldview as Christians is a man named Jesus. An obscure Jewish rabbi who took a small group of people and taught them that God loves them and because of that they should love others. The point was never supposed to be knowing when the rapture would happen or knowing whether or not someone can “lose his or her salvation.” Before any of that mattered, there was Jesus. Plain and simple. And sometimes I think we get so caught up in our own teaching about what scripture says that we forget Jesus.

I’ve had this urge lately to sit down and read the four gospels and be taught by Jesus. To read them over and over and over again until His words sink into my head and heart and penetrate through the 2000 year conversation that my brain and faith has been exposed to. Maybe if I knew more about Jesus and His teachings, the rest of The New Testament wouldn’t be so full of commentary. Maybe if I really let what Jesus said and did and demonstrated saturate my being, all the theories and commentary and dogma and doctrine would begin to get less fuzzy. For 2000 years we’ve been talking about scripture. What if we stopped talking about it and began living like the One who inspired it? What would that look like? I’m not sure really, but I bet it would be beautiful.

-Magic Words-

Kids can be pretty demanding at times. I suppose that's true of all people when you think about it but lately I've been much more aware of it with my five year old daughter and one year old son. My son Ian, who isn't exactly "fluent" with his English just yet, tends to communicate that he wants something through a series of grunts, screams, whines and generally irritating noises. If he doesn't get what he wants he then proceeds to scream like a witch being boiled and often begins head-butting something, usually my wife's face. So he may not be socially ready to attend a black tie dinner party just yet but fits in great with the NASCAR and WWE crowd.

My daughter, on the other hand, has a working grasp of the English language and so we have higher expectations for her when communicating. Our current efforts are in getting her to say "please" and "thank you," words that are often referred to as "the magic words." I'm not a big fan of the "magic words" analogy really. I think it presents the user with a false sense of inevitability when they're used. They aren't really magic at all. It's simply polite and respectful to use them. And just like using them doesn't guarantee that we'll get what we want, not using them doesn't necessarily disqualify our request either. Sometimes we can ask someone for assistance or a favor, not say "please," and low and behold, they still help us.

I think sometimes we treat God and Christianity like this. Not long ago I was talking to a friend who is also a Christian about another mutual friend. I was explaining to him that our other friend had recently started attending church and began asking me questions about what it means to be baptized. He then asked me if our friend had become a Christian to which I said, "It sounds like it to me." Then he asked, "Did she say the prayer?" "What prayer?" I asked. "You know, the sinners prayer. The prayer to become a Christian."

It seems my friend believed that in order to become a Christian you have to recite a prayer that contained certain elements. It's a typical Christianese formula really, "I'm a sinner, Jesus died for my sins, Jesus is my savior, forgive my sins, yadda yadda yadda, amen." Bingo, you're a Christian now. I once went to one of the big stadium crusades where the speaker gives and invitation to come down and become a Christian at the end. This one actually said, "If you come down on this field and pray this prayer, I guarantee you'll go to heaven when you die." Huh? Really? That's all I have to do?

I am perplexed that Western Christianity has promoted the idea that there are "magic words" we can say to go to heaven. If we just use this secret ancient Christian incantation, God will have no choice but to let us in. It's really ridiculous. Nowhere in the Bible does it say we have to recite a certain prayer, or say certain things to be "in." You will not find a single passage where Paul, Peter, John, Jude, or even Jesus, indicates the necessity of "magic words" to become a follower of Jesus. The closest thing you will find is Romans 10:9 which says:

"That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (NIV)

Some may think that this passage makes it clear that you must "confess" out loud that Jesus is Lord. This poses a real problem for people who are born mute or who are unable to speak for their "death-bed confession." Plus, have you noticed the complete absence of asking for forgiveness in this verse? The idea behind this verse is your heart. What Paul was getting at here is that if you "believe in your heart" then you won't be able to help but to "confess with your mouth." I'm afraid there are no "magic words" or there is no special prayer that you must say to become a Christian. It is simply a belief that starts in your heart and begins to pour out of you from there.

Please don't mistake what I'm saying here. Confessing that we are flawed sinners, acknowledging that Jesus died for us, and committing our lives to Him are all very good things. I am not disparaging the practice of the "sinner's prayer" in any way. I had said it myself and have led others in it. I am, however, taking issue with the idea that it MUST be done or God can't and won't accept us as Christians. That is certainly a very narrow view of a very big God.

Even if "magic words" are magic they are still only words. Of the thousands of people who walked down on that field at the stadium crusade I mentioned, I wonder how many are still "believing in their hearts" what they once "confessed with their mouth." Confession is a beautiful thing. It helps us to deal with the pain of life and our own shortcomings. But without the "believing" that must precede it, confession is just words. And there's nothing very magical about that.

-More Than Just A Sit-Com-

I had a conversation recently about dealing with our hurt. Hurt and pain are interesting phenomenon really. Physical pain has a purpose. It is either letting you know that something is wrong, (like a bone is broken or muscle sprained) or it is telling you that you are growing. I remember when my brother and I were young and he grew 11.5 inches in height in one year's time. I swear I could see him growing. It was during this time that I learned that "Growing Pains" was more than just a teeny-bopper sit-com.

What I remember most is being woken up at night on occasion because my brother was in so much pain he was almost screaming. I, myself, experienced similar growing pains but nothing to the degree of his. I find it interesting that God would wire our bodies in such a way that physical growth would actual cause discomfort and even pain. What I have learned is that the same is true for all types of growth. Emotional, psychological, relational and spiritual growth also hurt in their respective ways.

I remember when I was 18. I had a great life at 18. I was out of High School, I still lived with my parents and therefore had no real bills to speak of, my primary source of income was playing in a band, which I loved, I had several terrific friends and was hopelessly in love with my girlfriend at the time. Please understand, when I say hopelessly in love I mean it. Her names was Rachel, (actual I'm pretty sure that's still her name), and I swore the sun rose and set in her smile. We laughed a lot, and she could fit in to any setting I put her in. My band friends, my church friends, my family, my friends from High School; no matter who we were with, she fit in easily and everyone loved her. I was so enamored with her and was seriously beginning to plan a marriage proposal in the upcoming months. To this day I don't think she realizes how in love with her I was.

Then one day it ended. Actually it probably ended weeks before it actually ended but the long and short of it was that it was over. I can still remember the instant it occurred to me. I could describe the moment with extreme detail and accuracy even now. But as difficult and painful as that moment was, it was nothing compared to the weeks and months that followed.

I was a mess for a long time after that. Not on the outside though. I'm too good at feigning happiness and contentment to display the agony I was truly in. No, on the outside I was just fine. Inside, however, I was a basket case. The loss of joy was such a one-eighty from where I was that my mind and emotions couldn't take it in. I was hurting so much and felt like it would never end. It wasn't long before it began to manifest physically.

I became so sick that I couldn't eat anything. When I did it just came back up within a few hours. I lost 15 pounds in two days and was so dehydrated that my temperature got to 106 degrees. I went to the emergency room where, while sitting in the waiting room, I felt I had to vomit. They let me use the restroom when I told them. I went in and vomited up some stomach acid because that is all I had in my stomach. I remember kneeling in front of my wide mouthed, white porcelain friend offering up the bitter, stinging contents of my stomach. The next thing I can recall is waking up on a gurney with an I.V. in my arm and my body drinking in it's electrolyte contents.

As I recovered alone from my physical illness over the next few days I tried to ignore the real loneliness I felt. It didn't work. So there, in my bed, I began dealing with the hurt I was going through. I decided to stop trying to go around it and start going through it. Suffice to say… it really sucked.

A close friend of mine, Mike, began to help me walk through it. He dealt with my anger, my frustration and my tears better than I could have hoped for. One of his biggest means of contribution was to assist me in discerning when I was just feeling sorry for myself and when I was really hurting. Finally after about four or five months from our Break-up, I realized that I still missed Rachel so much. Mike finally told me to just ask her to get back together. If she said yes then hey, problem solved. If she said no then at least I wouldn't be playing the "what if" game anymore.

So I did. Rachel and I had continued to talk after the break-up and even still hung out every now and then. So one night as I dropped her off I asked if thinks we could start seeing each other again. I said that i knew that there were reasons we broke up but said, "I can get past it if you can." She just said, "Let's talk about this later, John," which I understood to really mean, "No." And so we didn't talk about it later…because there was nothing to talk about. But the next morning I felt better than I had in a long, long time.

The pain and the hurt I went through sucked. Seriously, it was brutal and I don't remember ever hurting that bad before or since that time in my life. But I grew from it. I learned that I could say something like, "I can get passed it if you can." The ability to say and do that made all the difference in the relationships that followed and have impacted my marriage in an immensely positive way even today. I have come to realize that the hurt I was going through at the time wasn't emptiness or loneliness; it was just growing pains. I mean, it sucked and all at the time, but just like my brother wouldn't be 6'4" today if he didn't have his growing pains, I wouldn't be as emotionally or relationally tall as I am today if I didn't have mine.

Incidentally, despite some strange bumps in the road, Rachel and I remain in loose contact even today. We are both very happily married and actually attended each other's weddings. That bit of information really has nothing to do with this post…I just thought it was pretty cool.

-Bigger Than The Bible-

Last week as I prepared a message for our Sunday night young adults group, “Consume,” a funny thing happened. As I was finishing up my notes and reviewing them, I noticed something that took me by surprise. It occurred to me that, in this particular message, I had not used or otherwise incorporated a single verse from the Bible. This was a first for me.

I love the Bible. I know that as a Christian and a minister that I am supposed to say that but I seriously do. Why does this collection of letters, and poems, and laws, and songs, and proverbs and histories, and prophecies affect me so much? Why does this group of writings, that is thousands of years old, continue to challenge me and speak to me on a level that transcends the mere transfer of data? I love how pastor and author Rob Bell puts it when talking about the words of the Bible, “We started out reading them, but they end up reading us.” So why would I prepare a “Christian” message totally void of any words directly from the Bible? What’s more odd is that I was convinced that God wanted me to speak this message.

I think this has to do with the mind set most of today’s Christians, (especially Christian teachers), have about the Bible. Many of us were brought up in the school of thought that the Bible is the absolute final word. To one degree this is true but I think we have taken it to a level that God did not intend it to go. I believe whole-heartedly that God inspired every word the Bible. But men wrote it in those men’s different writing styles and those men’s thought process. It was the Holy Spirit at work in their styles and thought process that make the Bible so unique and special. But often times, we act as if God stopped speaking when John penned the final words to the book of Revelation. We act as if the Bible is as big as God is and that, outside of scripture, He is silent. I reject this notion.

I reject it for many reasons really. First off, the Bible didn’t exist until 250 to 300 years after Revelation was written. Second, the Bible as we know it was voted on by a group of men who decided what was inspired and what was not. Third, with the exception for the Torah, the Bible’s writers had absolutely no idea that they were writing God’s Word. Fourth, in the New Testament we are told that there are still prophets, which wouldn’t be needed if God were done speaking. I could go on and on. So what is the Bible for?

I think the Bible is definitely for study and learning and teaching and growth and examination. But ultimately I think it is for testing. When I am speaking a “Christian message” or teaching a “Christian concept” my ultimate goal is to always speak the truth. To discuss a worldview that is in line with the realities of both the natural world and the supernatural world. And there does exist truth, outside of the Bible.

Did I just say that? Yes, I absolutely did. Truth is not unique to only the 66 books that make up the Protestant Christian Bible. “Blasphemy!” you may say but before you pick up that rock or simply write me off as a heretic let me explain. Every writer of the bible would have held a view of the solar system that said the earth is the center of the universe and things like the sun and other planets rotate around us. Today, we know that this is not true. So how do we resolve this? In the story we know as “Jonah and the Whale” found in the Old Testament, the word whale is not used. The Bible refers to it as a “great fish,” (Jonah 1:17), not a whale. But Jonah did not realize that a whale is a mammal not a fish. He simple saw an animal that looked generally like a fish and swam in the water so therefore must be a fish. But the idea of it being a fish is highly unlikely. So how do we resolve this?

Please understand… God is bigger than the Bible. I know this because he has used other things to speak to me. One time he answered me with a Billboard I used to drive by everyday. So is that Billboard scripture? Of course not! I taught that message Sunday night and it had no scripture in it. But I believe that the same Holy Spirit that inspired Paul and Moses and Jonah and John and the rest can use me too. Not to write more Bible to express more truth. Use the Bible to test what you are being taught. My message Sunday should not go untested. Examine the points I made with scripture to make sure I was in line with what we know God has said. That is the function of the Bible and I reject the notion that God is wrapped up in those pages only. God is bigger and deeper and more complex than the Bible just as you are bigger and deeper and more complex then that email you sent out.

I know this post was long. I hope you made it this far without falling asleep. Because I think this is an important thing to understand about the Bible. God did not stop speaking with Revelation. God continues to speak to us today through all sorts of different avenues. The Bible is a transcript of things God said and did in specific times and places but it is not as if He isn’t saying anything here and now. Let us use the Bible to test what is being taught to us as truth. But let us not pigeonhole God in what we can find in 66 books. Because God is bigger than the Bible.

-Social Gravity-

Late last week I picked up a newsletter that is sent to hundreds of ministers and turned to the page that had an article written by a friend of mine. You have to understand, the guy who wrote it is probably one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. But not because he tries to be; because it’s just who he is. This is very frustrating for someone like me who has to work hard to be cool which, if you know me you can confirm this, is really just an exercise in futility. With this guy it’s different. He has some bizarre social gravity that makes people want to be in close proximity to him. If fact, now that I think of, I hate that guy!

But in all seriousness the guy I’m talking about; we’ll just call him Chris, (oddly that also happens to be his actual name), is a terrific guy. Recently I introduced a new song at the church I lead worship at that Chris wrote. It’s an awesome song about how realizing the God’s love and affection for us causes us to fall in love with Him. (That’s what it means to me anyway.) But one time I told Chris that I really love the song and he replied, “Well, I stole every line of it from somewhere else, but thanks.” On one hand he deflected credit and on the other was pleased for a compliment. It really was a great balance of humility and appreciation.

Chris is also the “twenty-somethings” Pastor at a mega-church in Southern California. A position that he created for himself because the young adults group was doing so well that the church had to hire him before someone else did. I am very familiar with the powers that be at his church and I can assure, they only go after the “A players.” So what does Chris do when he’s not leading his young adults group or writing songs and articles? What does he do with his social gravity that draws people to him?

Well, not long ago I was moving out of my home and had to be out by a certain date. I had a few guys lined up to help me but the day before, they all cancelled. All of them. So I was on my own to move couches and appliances and beds and dressers and everything else. Not good. I sent a text out to about 8 or 9 friends letting them know I was in a serious bind. Only two actually got back to me. One to tell me he was out of town and wouldn’t be back for a few days. The other was Chris who proceeded to let me know he was off the next day and could help out. He even called other people to try to find more help. When all was said and done, it was just he and I and I would have been screwed if it weren’t for his help.

I tell you this story about Chris for a few reasons. First, I want to honor him as a true minister. Ministry is about serving others. It’s about getting on our hands and knees and washing people’s feet. Chris is a popular guy. He could have filled his morning that day with meetings, or planning events, or studying, or just hanging out with some of the people drawn to him by his social gravity. But instead he chose to help me. In a sense, he got down on his hands and knees and washed my feet that day.

I also tell you this story to remind us to open our eyes and see when we can learn from other people. As much as I’ve talked Chris up here I understand that he is human. He has his flaws and quirks and foibles too. For instance, sometimes his laugh is really obnoxious. But I wouldn’t gain anything socially, intellectually, spiritually or otherwise if I focused on people’s flaws. By concentrating on the good things people add to our lives, we can see their true value and it helps us love them and others more. Also, Chris is younger than me. Not just by one year or so but by 5 or 6 years. Sometimes we think that because we are older than someone, they have nothing to teach us. We think we can’t learn from them because they don’t have the same life experience we do. This is a ridiculous and unfortunate line of reasoning that robs us of so much critical learning. I’ve said it several times, my daughter is 5 and I have learned more about God from her than anyone else.

I know this post is kinda all over the place and I’m sorry about that. But I hope you can catch my drift, (an 80’s expression meaning “understand what I am trying to say”), about Chris. I’m definitely not suggesting we worship and adore him. That would just be awkward for everyone. What I’m saying is that we have a lot to learn in life and people like Chris can help us learn some of it. His natural social gravity puts him in a position to be arrogant but he chooses not to take advantage of it. He uses it to demonstrate servant-hood like Jesus did. Not 100% percent of the time I’m sure. In fact if he gets wind of this post he’ll probably be embarrassed and hate that I wrote about him because he doesn’t feel like he’s this great Christian example. But he is. And he’s teaching me to try my hardest to be one too.

We all have a certain degree of social gravity. Some people, like Chris, have tons of and others, like me, well…don’t. What are you doing with yours?