Krissy and I were very fortunate to get a girl and a boy when trying to have kids. It means we won't have to take any chances with our reproductive efficiency. I know several couples who have tons of kids because they kept trying for that boy or girl they didn't have yet. In many ways it's funny; as long as it isn't happening to me. Years ago, Krissy and I decided that we would stop at three kids no matter what. The scary part is that twins run on both sides of both of our families. So I biggest fear was trying for the third one and having twins. God's kind of a funny guy with that kind of thing. Luckily, we won't have to worry about that though.
Having kids is so much more intense than I ever imagined. One night, shortly after Felicia was born, I was laying in bed and worked myself into full "pissed-offed-ness" by just thinking about the idea of someone trying to take her from us. Seriously I was ready to hurt someone and the whole thing was just a hypothetical that I created myself. But adversely, certain thoughts about my kids can bring great joy as well.
But I'd have to say that one of the best parts of having kids is just watching them. Our five-year-old daughter, Felicia, is great to watch because she uses her imagination more and more everyday. She dances around and sings pretends she a character from one of her books. For Krissy and I, it's so beautiful to watch. She is also blowing us away with how smart she is. I don't like to be "that parent" that insists his kid smarter than everyone else's but seriously, she's amazing us. We had our first parent/teacher conference with her Kindergarten teacher this year and she was going over what they call "sight words." these are words that the kids are supposed to be able to read by just looking at them. Of the 19 kids in her class she said most of them know between 4 and 9 sight words which is normal. A few others knew up to 12 which was great. Felicia knew 44! Yes, 44! And at this point she is reading entire books on her own.
Our son, Ian, is about 16 months old. He's load and often obnoxious. He totally gets that from Krissy. He is extremely curious. He's always opening drawers and then closing them. he likes taking the back off the remote controls and pulling the batteries out just to see if he can put it all back together. He pushes buttons on the TV to change the channel or just turn it off. Right now one of his favorite things to do is walk up to Felicia and just grab a handful of hair and then YANK. Laughing hysterically the whole time.
I express all of this to let you know the sheer joy that comes with simply watching your children be themselves. If you are a parent you probably know exactly what I mean. But you know when the best time to watch your kids is? When they don't know that you're doing it. When they don't know they have an audience kids true personalities come out and when it is your kids, it can bring you to tears to see. They dance just a little bit more freely. They sing just a little bit louder and out of key. They get into just a little bit more mischief. And they make a much bigger mess. It truly is one of the great joys of being a parent and I believe that God is trying to tell us something through it.
I have yet to meet anyone who has seen God face to face or to do so myself. God is mysterious. I won't go as far as to say that He is hiding from us but I think there is a reason He doesn't just walk in and sit down next to us. I know about the whole "humans can't actually see God and live," thing but I think there is more to it than that. Because He is God and can do anything so if He really wanted to He could meet for lunch whenever or wherever. So there must be more to it than that.
Through out scripture, we are referred to as "God's children." From Genesis to Revelation God is constantly reminding us that we are His kids. One of His most commonly used identities is even "Heavenly Father." Well, maybe He thinks the best, most precious and rewarding times to watch His kids is when we don't know He's watching? What if that's one of the reasons we don't see Him face to face. Maybe one of the great joys of our Heavenly Father is simply watching His kids when they dance a little more freely, sing a little bit louder, and make a bigger mess.
I know that isn't the only reason God doesn't just show up at Taco Bell while we're having lunch. I know that it is much more complex than that. But I also know what it is like to be a daddy. I know the fears and laughter and joys and responsibilities that are attached to that title and I know how great it is sometimes to just watch your children. And I think maybe God loves to watch us too. I think He He takes great joy in our just making our way through this life He has given us. Thank you God for this life. I hope that watching me will sometimes put a smile on your face.
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