Late last week I picked up a newsletter that is sent to hundreds of ministers and turned to the page that had an article written by a friend of mine. You have to understand, the guy who wrote it is probably one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. But not because he tries to be; because it’s just who he is. This is very frustrating for someone like me who has to work hard to be cool which, if you know me you can confirm this, is really just an exercise in futility. With this guy it’s different. He has some bizarre social gravity that makes people want to be in close proximity to him. If fact, now that I think of, I hate that guy!
But in all seriousness the guy I’m talking about; we’ll just call him Chris, (oddly that also happens to be his actual name), is a terrific guy. Recently I introduced a new song at the church I lead worship at that Chris wrote. It’s an awesome song about how realizing the God’s love and affection for us causes us to fall in love with Him. (That’s what it means to me anyway.) But one time I told Chris that I really love the song and he replied, “Well, I stole every line of it from somewhere else, but thanks.” On one hand he deflected credit and on the other was pleased for a compliment. It really was a great balance of humility and appreciation.
Chris is also the “twenty-somethings” Pastor at a mega-church in Southern California. A position that he created for himself because the young adults group was doing so well that the church had to hire him before someone else did. I am very familiar with the powers that be at his church and I can assure, they only go after the “A players.” So what does Chris do when he’s not leading his young adults group or writing songs and articles? What does he do with his social gravity that draws people to him?
Well, not long ago I was moving out of my home and had to be out by a certain date. I had a few guys lined up to help me but the day before, they all cancelled. All of them. So I was on my own to move couches and appliances and beds and dressers and everything else. Not good. I sent a text out to about 8 or 9 friends letting them know I was in a serious bind. Only two actually got back to me. One to tell me he was out of town and wouldn’t be back for a few days. The other was Chris who proceeded to let me know he was off the next day and could help out. He even called other people to try to find more help. When all was said and done, it was just he and I and I would have been screwed if it weren’t for his help.
I tell you this story about Chris for a few reasons. First, I want to honor him as a true minister. Ministry is about serving others. It’s about getting on our hands and knees and washing people’s feet. Chris is a popular guy. He could have filled his morning that day with meetings, or planning events, or studying, or just hanging out with some of the people drawn to him by his social gravity. But instead he chose to help me. In a sense, he got down on his hands and knees and washed my feet that day.
I also tell you this story to remind us to open our eyes and see when we can learn from other people. As much as I’ve talked Chris up here I understand that he is human. He has his flaws and quirks and foibles too. For instance, sometimes his laugh is really obnoxious. But I wouldn’t gain anything socially, intellectually, spiritually or otherwise if I focused on people’s flaws. By concentrating on the good things people add to our lives, we can see their true value and it helps us love them and others more. Also, Chris is younger than me. Not just by one year or so but by 5 or 6 years. Sometimes we think that because we are older than someone, they have nothing to teach us. We think we can’t learn from them because they don’t have the same life experience we do. This is a ridiculous and unfortunate line of reasoning that robs us of so much critical learning. I’ve said it several times, my daughter is 5 and I have learned more about God from her than anyone else.
I know this post is kinda all over the place and I’m sorry about that. But I hope you can catch my drift, (an 80’s expression meaning “understand what I am trying to say”), about Chris. I’m definitely not suggesting we worship and adore him. That would just be awkward for everyone. What I’m saying is that we have a lot to learn in life and people like Chris can help us learn some of it. His natural social gravity puts him in a position to be arrogant but he chooses not to take advantage of it. He uses it to demonstrate servant-hood like Jesus did. Not 100% percent of the time I’m sure. In fact if he gets wind of this post he’ll probably be embarrassed and hate that I wrote about him because he doesn’t feel like he’s this great Christian example. But he is. And he’s teaching me to try my hardest to be one too.
We all have a certain degree of social gravity. Some people, like Chris, have tons of and others, like me, well…don’t. What are you doing with yours?
But in all seriousness the guy I’m talking about; we’ll just call him Chris, (oddly that also happens to be his actual name), is a terrific guy. Recently I introduced a new song at the church I lead worship at that Chris wrote. It’s an awesome song about how realizing the God’s love and affection for us causes us to fall in love with Him. (That’s what it means to me anyway.) But one time I told Chris that I really love the song and he replied, “Well, I stole every line of it from somewhere else, but thanks.” On one hand he deflected credit and on the other was pleased for a compliment. It really was a great balance of humility and appreciation.
Chris is also the “twenty-somethings” Pastor at a mega-church in Southern California. A position that he created for himself because the young adults group was doing so well that the church had to hire him before someone else did. I am very familiar with the powers that be at his church and I can assure, they only go after the “A players.” So what does Chris do when he’s not leading his young adults group or writing songs and articles? What does he do with his social gravity that draws people to him?
Well, not long ago I was moving out of my home and had to be out by a certain date. I had a few guys lined up to help me but the day before, they all cancelled. All of them. So I was on my own to move couches and appliances and beds and dressers and everything else. Not good. I sent a text out to about 8 or 9 friends letting them know I was in a serious bind. Only two actually got back to me. One to tell me he was out of town and wouldn’t be back for a few days. The other was Chris who proceeded to let me know he was off the next day and could help out. He even called other people to try to find more help. When all was said and done, it was just he and I and I would have been screwed if it weren’t for his help.
I tell you this story about Chris for a few reasons. First, I want to honor him as a true minister. Ministry is about serving others. It’s about getting on our hands and knees and washing people’s feet. Chris is a popular guy. He could have filled his morning that day with meetings, or planning events, or studying, or just hanging out with some of the people drawn to him by his social gravity. But instead he chose to help me. In a sense, he got down on his hands and knees and washed my feet that day.
I also tell you this story to remind us to open our eyes and see when we can learn from other people. As much as I’ve talked Chris up here I understand that he is human. He has his flaws and quirks and foibles too. For instance, sometimes his laugh is really obnoxious. But I wouldn’t gain anything socially, intellectually, spiritually or otherwise if I focused on people’s flaws. By concentrating on the good things people add to our lives, we can see their true value and it helps us love them and others more. Also, Chris is younger than me. Not just by one year or so but by 5 or 6 years. Sometimes we think that because we are older than someone, they have nothing to teach us. We think we can’t learn from them because they don’t have the same life experience we do. This is a ridiculous and unfortunate line of reasoning that robs us of so much critical learning. I’ve said it several times, my daughter is 5 and I have learned more about God from her than anyone else.
I know this post is kinda all over the place and I’m sorry about that. But I hope you can catch my drift, (an 80’s expression meaning “understand what I am trying to say”), about Chris. I’m definitely not suggesting we worship and adore him. That would just be awkward for everyone. What I’m saying is that we have a lot to learn in life and people like Chris can help us learn some of it. His natural social gravity puts him in a position to be arrogant but he chooses not to take advantage of it. He uses it to demonstrate servant-hood like Jesus did. Not 100% percent of the time I’m sure. In fact if he gets wind of this post he’ll probably be embarrassed and hate that I wrote about him because he doesn’t feel like he’s this great Christian example. But he is. And he’s teaching me to try my hardest to be one too.
We all have a certain degree of social gravity. Some people, like Chris, have tons of and others, like me, well…don’t. What are you doing with yours?
4 comments:
social gravity is a great concept, in fact, when i go to college, i hope you don't mind me stealing it!
-Srvnt
There were a few more comments on this one that for some reason blogger won't publish. If that was you who wrote them....I'm sorry.
-John
embarrassed and hate.
yes.
but i feel honored. thanks man.
I find it hard at times to be the one to offer the hand "sometimes i just cant" I do know that when i can help I feel that little extra Jesus love floating around!
Monica W.
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