I have a very specific way to read books. I didn’t copy it from anyone nor was it ever suggested to me to read books this way. It has simply evolved over time to what it is today and it seems to work for me. The way it works is like this.
I am usually reading three books at any given time. One of them is my primary book that is the one I read most often. Usually this book is about faith, life, or self-improvement of some type. The goal is for it to challenge the way I think and give me different perspectives on life, leadership, ministry, relationships, faith and abstract things like that. The second of the two is generally very informational. Lost of facts, statistics, timetables, and words I have to look up in order to understand. These books usually feed the left side of my brain and often times are very tough reads but have great information. The last of the three books is usually a book that I am strictly reading for enjoyment. Sometimes fiction and sometimes not, they usually pertain to subjects like music, mythology, politics, or history. Sometimes, such as currently, I supplement these books with a fourth just for kicks. A fourth book has no set agenda it’s just a book I want to read for one reason or another and it usually takes me a long time to get through it. The books I’m in right now are:
1. “Who Stole My Church?”, by Gordon MacDonald
2. “The Language of God”, by Francis S. Collins
3. “Clapton – The Autobiography”, by Eric Clapton
4. “A History of God”, by Karen Armstrong
The strange thing about my current reading list is how much I am actually learning about myself from reading Eric Clapton’s autobiography. Now, if you don’t know who Eric Clapton is then I’m sorry, I don’t think we can be friends. Never the less I’ll explain that he is a guitar virtuoso and one of the most famous musicians of all time. His career is now in it’s fifth decade and he is arguably the best guitar player alive today and possibly ever.
In his autobiography, Clapton spends time first describing his addiction to heroine for a few chapters and then describes his alcoholism for a few more. From the early 60’s to the 80’s the guy did everything and everyone he could. Eric Clapton, it seems, is addicted to addictions.
This idea got me thinking about myself. You see, moderation does not come naturally to me. One look at me and you’ll think, “Wow, that guy really likes fried food and cheesecake,” and you’d be absolutely right. But my “addictive personality” stretches far beyond food. I, (like many parents I know), am also addicted to my children’s laughter. But it doesn’t stop there either. I’m addicted to my wife’s smile, (and other things about my wife I won’t mention here), spending time with friends, certain songs, my faith, Dr. Pepper, “Heroes”, and sarcasm. It seems that I, like Clapton, am addicted to addictions.
This type of personality has some very huge plusses. It means that I commit to things 100%. It means I am loyal and value loyalty. It means once I commit to something I see it out to either its success or it’s dismal failure. It means that I would take a bullet for those close to me without hesitation. It means that when people around me succeed, it is a victory for me too.
Unfortunately, it also comes with serious personality flaws. It means I can be hurt easily. It means I get frustrated easily. It means I have a hard time seeing when it’s time to cut my losses and give up on something that is destined for failure. It means I don’t know when to shut my mouth. It means I lose sleep if everything isn’t full of roses and sugar-cookies. It means I can be really paranoid and take things way too personally. It means I can be way too competitive even in the trivial things. Basically, it means I’m a basket case.
But reading Clapton’s descriptions of his battles with addictions makes me realize that we all struggle with ourselves. Even guitar gods. Even Presidents. Even mega-church pastors and world-famous evangelists. Even powerful C.E.O.’s. Even Biblical heroes. Even Hollywood royalty. Even violent dictators. Even brilliant scientists. And even obscure bloggers in Central California. It’s all of us. Every last soul on earth.
I am learning that my weaknesses are a part of me even when they get in my way. I am learning that I am wired like this for a reason even if I haven’t discovered it yet. I am learning that God knew what he was doing when he created me even if I don’t. I am learning to rely on my strengths even when I can’t predict the outcome. I am learning to be cautious of my weaknesses even when every fiber of my being wants to just ignore the writing on the wall and push through. I am learning that the struggle to “have it all together” is one I can never win. But I am also learning that that struggle is still worth it to make. Because nothing with true value ever comes without a struggle.
I am usually reading three books at any given time. One of them is my primary book that is the one I read most often. Usually this book is about faith, life, or self-improvement of some type. The goal is for it to challenge the way I think and give me different perspectives on life, leadership, ministry, relationships, faith and abstract things like that. The second of the two is generally very informational. Lost of facts, statistics, timetables, and words I have to look up in order to understand. These books usually feed the left side of my brain and often times are very tough reads but have great information. The last of the three books is usually a book that I am strictly reading for enjoyment. Sometimes fiction and sometimes not, they usually pertain to subjects like music, mythology, politics, or history. Sometimes, such as currently, I supplement these books with a fourth just for kicks. A fourth book has no set agenda it’s just a book I want to read for one reason or another and it usually takes me a long time to get through it. The books I’m in right now are:
1. “Who Stole My Church?”, by Gordon MacDonald
2. “The Language of God”, by Francis S. Collins
3. “Clapton – The Autobiography”, by Eric Clapton
4. “A History of God”, by Karen Armstrong
The strange thing about my current reading list is how much I am actually learning about myself from reading Eric Clapton’s autobiography. Now, if you don’t know who Eric Clapton is then I’m sorry, I don’t think we can be friends. Never the less I’ll explain that he is a guitar virtuoso and one of the most famous musicians of all time. His career is now in it’s fifth decade and he is arguably the best guitar player alive today and possibly ever.
In his autobiography, Clapton spends time first describing his addiction to heroine for a few chapters and then describes his alcoholism for a few more. From the early 60’s to the 80’s the guy did everything and everyone he could. Eric Clapton, it seems, is addicted to addictions.
This idea got me thinking about myself. You see, moderation does not come naturally to me. One look at me and you’ll think, “Wow, that guy really likes fried food and cheesecake,” and you’d be absolutely right. But my “addictive personality” stretches far beyond food. I, (like many parents I know), am also addicted to my children’s laughter. But it doesn’t stop there either. I’m addicted to my wife’s smile, (and other things about my wife I won’t mention here), spending time with friends, certain songs, my faith, Dr. Pepper, “Heroes”, and sarcasm. It seems that I, like Clapton, am addicted to addictions.
This type of personality has some very huge plusses. It means that I commit to things 100%. It means I am loyal and value loyalty. It means once I commit to something I see it out to either its success or it’s dismal failure. It means that I would take a bullet for those close to me without hesitation. It means that when people around me succeed, it is a victory for me too.
Unfortunately, it also comes with serious personality flaws. It means I can be hurt easily. It means I get frustrated easily. It means I have a hard time seeing when it’s time to cut my losses and give up on something that is destined for failure. It means I don’t know when to shut my mouth. It means I lose sleep if everything isn’t full of roses and sugar-cookies. It means I can be really paranoid and take things way too personally. It means I can be way too competitive even in the trivial things. Basically, it means I’m a basket case.
But reading Clapton’s descriptions of his battles with addictions makes me realize that we all struggle with ourselves. Even guitar gods. Even Presidents. Even mega-church pastors and world-famous evangelists. Even powerful C.E.O.’s. Even Biblical heroes. Even Hollywood royalty. Even violent dictators. Even brilliant scientists. And even obscure bloggers in Central California. It’s all of us. Every last soul on earth.
I am learning that my weaknesses are a part of me even when they get in my way. I am learning that I am wired like this for a reason even if I haven’t discovered it yet. I am learning that God knew what he was doing when he created me even if I don’t. I am learning to rely on my strengths even when I can’t predict the outcome. I am learning to be cautious of my weaknesses even when every fiber of my being wants to just ignore the writing on the wall and push through. I am learning that the struggle to “have it all together” is one I can never win. But I am also learning that that struggle is still worth it to make. Because nothing with true value ever comes without a struggle.
And that is what Eric Clapton taught me about life.
No comments:
Post a Comment