OK so we've covered some topics about sex as it relates to married people and having an open, honest relationship. We've talked about how God may have made us so different sexually in order to get us to talk to our spouses in a deeply honest way about the most intimate topics of life; thus making it easier for us to communicate with them about other issues when they arise. For example, if I am comfortable sharing my deepest sexual thoughts with Krissy, then talking to her about how we spend our money or how we're going to raise our children will probably be pretty easy in comparison. (By the way sex, money and kids are the top three subjects married couples argue about.) I'd like to use this communication idea as a springboard to this weeks post. If you're not married, this type of deep intimate communication is not necessary.
Too often when we talk about sex before marriage in a "Christian" setting we simply discuss that the Bible says we shouldn't have sex until we're married. And while this point is absolutely true, we're simply not doing the Bible, or God any justice by limiting our reasoning to that and that alone. I'm a big fan of asking and talking about "the whys." It isn't enough to say that God wants us to remain sexually pure until we're married. We have to discuss WHY God says that. What purpose could it have? If God made us sexual beings and gave us sexual desires, then why would He also tell us to quench those desires?
Well first, I'd like to go back to the original point. The type of deep, deep intimacy that sex brings really doesn't make a whole lot of sense outside of a marriage. If I'm 15, what business do I have sharing my deepest thoughts and most intimate feelings with another teen-ager who really isn't equipped to understand them and probably doesn't really care anyway? The intimacy of sex was created to share with a single person because your marriage relationship is supposed to be the most intimate relationship you EVER have. I am proud that there is something between Krissy and I that we have only shared with one another. There isn't another human being alive who could possible say that one day, they were just as close to Krissy as I am today or just as close to me as Krissy is today. Because they have NEVER shared that most intimate of acts, sex. And because of this truth, our marriage is stronger than most other marriages out there.
Another reason I think God asks us to keep sex off the table until we're married is because God is also a very practical God. If you simply stop and think about it, you'll see that saving sex until you're married just makes more sense. Unlike several friends, I've never had to worry about getting herpes, crabs or even aids. I've never had to concern myself with telling my parents that I got some girl pregnant. And I've never had to worry about finding some form of birth control and feeling all awkward about it. Just think of all the crime, disease, and conflict that comes from sex. Would there be an issue of prostitution or young girls being sold as sex slaves if EVERYONE decided to wait until they were married? Would HIV and any other STDs be as big an issue, (if an issue at all), if EVERYONE decided to wait? Would abortion be such an issue if over 90% of "unwanted pregnancies" were eliminated because EVERYONE decided to wait? I mean, look at history. Wars have been fought over sex. Imagine a world without all the pain, suffering, and heartache that sex is able to cause. It would be possible if everyone would simply see the practicality of waiting until you're married to have sex, (and remaining faithful to your spouse of course).
Finally, I think God asks us to remain sexually pure until marriage to help teach us self-control. We do not live in a culture that puts a lot of weight on self-control and moderation. We are living in a time that is a very, "do whatever you want but don't hurt anyone else" time. I like the idea of "not hurting anyone else" but is it very difficult to combine it with the "do whatever you want." If I do whatever I want, someone else is bound to get hurt. If a guy sleeps with some girl because he wants to he is potentially hurting her even if SHE wants to as well. What if she gets pregnant? What if he has an STD and doesn't know it? "She wanted it too!" is no excuse for a lack of self-control. We need to learn to be the master of our hormones instead of letting them master us. We need to learn to let our self-worth comes from the fact that God thinks we're worth dying for rather than doing what it takes to get the approval of some guy or girl. Ladies, stop using sex to get love. Guys, stop using love to get sex. You're both just cheapening yourselves and are worth so much more. Control your desires, don't let them control you. Then there will be no secrets to keep and no shame to feel. But that's just my opinion.
1 comment:
Great Blog....The church should have had something like this years ago.
People have hidden and covered for so many years that the truth has gone so far from the top and the sin doesn't seem so bad.
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