-Letters To Myself Part 2: Dear 25 Year Old John-

Dear 25 Year Old John (March 30, 2003),

It doesn't seem like that long that I was you, but so much is going to happen to you over the next few years that you won't know how you managed to navigate through it all. You will mature more over the next five or so years than you did in the previous 15 combined. So buckle up and put your helmet on because life isn't the "roller coaster" it's been made out to be, it's more like the bumper cars.

You got married about a year and a half ago and that has worked out quite well for you hasn't it? But you're still learning to be unselfish aren't you? It's not easy but you're finally starting now to understand that in marriage you can't think in terms of "me" but always in terms of "we." Continue to cultivate this attitude. It will be invaluable to the success of your marriage. You've also set some good ground rules with Krissy that will serve you well for the upcoming years. The "veto" rule was good. Giving your spouse the power to tell you you're not allowed to do something and knowing that they have given you that same authority shows a tremendous amount of trust and respect. You were also wise to agree to never let an argument cause you to spend the night under different roofs. These simple things have proven to strengthen your marriage like nothing else could. You love and respect and trust Krissy and she does the same for you. This will only continue to grow over the years causing you two to become closer than you knew was possible and you will have the ability to talk about anything without fear. Ultimately, you will realize that what you were suspicious of all along is, in fact, true: she is way too good for you. Fortunately, for you, she loves you anyway.

You're also just a few months away from being a father for the first time. Now, I won't ruin it by telling you if it's a boy or a girl but I want to prepare for a few things. Holding your child for the first time is going to wreak havoc on your equilibrium. Never will you feel so important yet so insignificant at the same time. Nothing will inspire you to be the best you can possibly be like this event will. You fell in love with Krissy over time. You got to know her. You got to know about her. You interacted with her and came to appreciate her personality and uniqueness and it has grown into a deep sense of love and devotion that could never be replaced. But it happened over time. When you hold your child for the first time, all of that love an devotion is going to come crashing down on you in a matter of nanoseconds. You WILL be overwhelmed by it. But even as i type this i know my words aren't even a fraction adequate enough to prepare you. So, good luck. As for the actual birth part, you're about to see Krissy in a whole new way that will simply add to your knowledge of how amazing she is.

Professionally John, you've got a long way to go. You're still cocky and think you know it all. But an off the cuff comment from Billy Phipps is going to snap you back into focus. He won't know it when he says it because he wasn't even really talking to you or even about you; but will be a ginormous, (that word will be added to the dictionary in 2008), wake-up call and you will never forget that moment. Right now you are learning to always be learning and that is good. But in a few years a book recommendation, (once again Billy Phipps will play a major role), will altar how you see the church, the world, people, politics, ministry, and relationships. It will set you on a path of learning and growth that take you to new heights and help you combine your intellect with your spirituality. This step is a major turning point for you.

Introspectively you will really start to come into your own. You will be filled with ideas and dreams and visions for amazing things. When you don't make them all real it will be taxing for you. It will even hurt. But you will press on and find more and more creativity hiding just beneath the surface. It's there for the taking but there will be obstacles in finding it. Pride and self-centeredness will always be a struggle for you. You will have to come to terms with this or you will never be able to grow. This won't be easy for you but I hope that in the long run, growth will be more important to you than always being right. Keep learning and keep loving because if you don't there will be no reason to keep living. You're becoming a grown-up now John. It's time to put away childish things. There is more to you than your sarcastic fun-loving exterior. There is depth. There is the ability to affect people on a deeply personal and spiritual level. Dig deep John. Find it. Bring it out. Make a difference. It's up to you.

Truly,

-John Hall (age 31)

P.S.

I didn't mention your trips to the Philippines and Fiji that will shatter your life into a million pieces. You will see things that will rock your world. They will bring you to tears and to your knees. Breathe in these experiences. They will help you understand your role in this world.