There is a new television series premièring tonight on Fox called “Lie to Me.” From what I can gather together with the fragments of promo-commercials that have been run for it, the show is about a group of people working with law enforcement who are experts in picking up on little nuances and idiosyncrasies that can determine, with a high degree of accuracy, whether someone is telling the truth or simply fabricating their story. (Wasn’t that a long, intelligent sounding sentence? I’m pretty proud of it, which makes me kinda sad really.) What a terrific ability that would be to have. Being able to pick up on even the subtlest signs of deception by simply having a better grasp of nonverbal communication.
Studies suggest that the vast majority of the way we communicate is nonverbal. In fact some studies indicate that up to 93% of communication is done in one nonverbal fashion or another. Gestures, facial expressions, body position, eye contact, voice tone and fluctuation, fidgeting, and even breathing patterns are all forms of communication that we send and receive, often unaware. It’s as if we are subconsciously going out of our way to make sure people can hear what we’re NOT saying.
I wonder sometimes what kind of “nonverbals” we send to God. Many people lift their hands as they sing or pray to God as a sign of surrender. Others bow as they pray with their face down as a sign of humility as they speak to One as vast and endless as the Creator of time space and everything in it. Most people will fold their hands and close their eyes as they pray to show they are focused on their conversation with God. (Even if it is a one-sided conversation.) Still others insist on removing their hats to show reverence and respect. All these, and many others, are very good things to do if you find they help you connect with God at a deeper level than you otherwise would have. But does God pick up on other nonverbal messages we send?
The tone in our voice as we hurry through a prayer so we can get started with the meal. The sighs and frustrated breathing we use as we drag ourselves out of bed because we “have to go to church.” The way our eyes and attentions wander around the room during the message at church when God is trying to speak to us through our pastors. The way we constantly look at our watch to gauge just how much longer this service, or prayer, or song, or meeting is going to last. How about the way refuse to even look at a homeless person; someone who God created and loves and who Jesus died for, because then we might feel compelled to actually help them? What about when we roll our eyes when the visiting missionary asks for financial support in trying to show God’s love in real, tangible ways to people who have so little in countries we’ll never go to? What can God hear us NOT saying?
This awareness of my nonverbal messages to God is something I am only now beginning to explore so I have no real commentary other than to say I think that if I learn more about myself and the messages I may be sending it can only be a positive thing. I think digging deeper into my own thoughts and responses in certain situations will only serve to purge those things in me that prevent me from becoming what I was meant to be. So as I’ve come to realize that God can hear what I’m not saying, I hope He’ll help me discover the things I say that I’m not hearing.
2 comments:
Amen.
Does God pick up on the Nonverbal?
It seems like a counter intuitive question, unless it is intended as satire. In y relationship with him, he knows it all, and he reminds me, unceasingly, until I get the picture, and start taking a closer look. This applies both to my failings and my failing to give myself credit where it's due. I hope that made sense.
In my mind he knows it all. He is always there, nudging us in our conveying, saying "come on, we both know that's not really true. Or, "Alright now, lets be honest with ourselves." And eventually WE know it al,l to; that is, just before our time comes. This notion was reinforced in me upon reading the book by Elizabeth Kubler Ross entitled,The Wheel of Life. What she relays, is that we are here to grow, period. And when we have learned all that we have come here to learn, our time is up,period.
So, does God read the nonverbals? Uh...I'd have to say yes, and to some of us, he makes them glaringly apparent. So apparent, that the nonverbals are a shared way of knowing. A shared way of wearing the other's shoes. I think it is a key to understanding. And with these observations, we can use one of the tools the great master of unconditional Love taught us: One of his greatest greatest lessons. The Golden Rule.
The nonverbal cues we send and we read are tools for understanding, yes. And understanding is a form of empathy. The better we can read the nonverbal signs, and the more empathic we become. And it's much easier to "Do unto others" when you have the right tools. Empathy is one of them, and we can certainly build upon that skill by observing.
Gloria,
My questioning if God picks up on the nonverbals wasn't really the point o this post. This post was to remind US that God picks up on the nonverbals so we need to be aware of them. I agree with you that "He knows it all" but just cant seem to go with you on th idea that we are here to grow and learn and and that's it. It certainly doesn't take into account children who die at a young age or the fact the SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) exists.
I agree that we are here to grow but I cant agree with the "period" you quoted from Elizabeth Kubler Ross. The problem with learning being our only purpose in life is that all that growth would die with us. It's too "self" focused.
I believe we were put here to serve and help and love each other. To put the growth of other people before our own and in that sacrifice we will learn and grow ourselves. I find no better example of this in all of human history than in Jesus Christ. Unfortunately those of us who profess to follow Him don't often live up to His legacy.
I thank you for your point of view. As I said I agree with you that God knows it all and He picks up on nonverbals and sometimes makes them glarringly apperant to us. I hope He continues to make mine that obvious. Thanks for reading and for your thoughts. I love being given more and more to think about. God bless.
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