There is no real point to this story. I'm using for a message illustration but liked the way it turned out so I thought I'd share it.
Everything is this story is true. These are actually some of my most vivid childhood memories. Suffice to say that as an adult, I am better able to process the thoughts and feelings I was having back then at ages 6 and 7. So while much of this story is described and related in retrospect, it is never-the-less, all true. I hope you find it entertaining:
I discovered girls at a pretty young age. 1st grade really. I never went through the whole “girls are yucky” phase. Of the 60 or so 1st grade boys at my school only a handful of us made this discovery so early on. The five of us that did naturally gravitated toward each other and formed our little clique of girl watchers. Anthony, Brian, Alex, and Sean were their names I can remember their faces and how their voices sounded even to this day. We would hang out during recess and lunch watching the girls spin on the monkey bars and hang up-side-down waiting for the rare but exciting, girl in a dress hanging up-side-down. We had no idea why this was so exciting. We were in first grade and still had NO clue about any of that. We just knew that underwear wasn’t supposed to be showed off. So when it was, we would gawk openly without fear of being seen, because no one really cared anyway.
Of all the girls in 1st grade, the one we fixated on the most was Tammy Patton. Tammy was a tiny little girl with light brown hair that she always wore in ponytails. She had big brown eyes and a giant, brighter-than-the-sun smile. She wore the color red a lot and I think that is why to this day, red is my favorite color. Then one day… it happened.
That Valentine’s Day it was brought to my attention, after passing through several other people, that Tammy Patton thought I was cute. The pure joy I experienced in that moment is a feeling that has only been surpassed 3 times in my life. When my wife said she would marry me, when my daughter was born, and when my son was born. It was that significant.
By March our “relationship” was in full swing. Which means we would send messages to each other through friends because we weren’t that good at writing notes yet. We’d exchange smiles in class and sit at lunch tables that were next to each other. Boys and girls sitting at the same lunch table was simply unacceptable in the 1st grade. She would watch with a group of girls as I triumphantly took to the monkey bars each day at recess demonstrating my superiority at chicken fighting. I was unbeatable on those bars. I was the tallest kid in 1st grade, which meant I could kick and pull at my opponent with my legs long before they got close enough to retaliate. I owned those monkey bars and everyone referred to me as the King of Chicken-Fighting. I was elated when I found out, one day, that the girls secretly referred to Tammy as the Queen.
Yes, life was good. Everything was going my way and I knew that some day I would be President. I began expanding my challenges to chicken-fighting 2nd graders. It was more difficult and took more strength but I held my own. I lost a few times but it was OK…they were 2nd graders and I was supposed to lose. But 8 out of 10 times I would still reign supreme etching my name into the annals of chicken-fighting history. And with each victory came another smile from Tammy. Sometimes a wave. One time she actually blew me a kiss and I thought my heart was going to pound right out of my chest.
April came. Other girls started to send word to me of their affection. Sara, Jennifer, the two Heathers and a girl named Cinnamon all sought to be my queen. I was flattered but my heart had made it’s decision back on that cold February day and nothing could tear my affections away from brown-eyed smiling beauty. We had grown so close we were sitting back to back at the lunch tables now “accidentally” bumping into each other. Spring was exploding around us and I planned and schemed to be sitting at the same table as her before the end of the year. This was unheard of, of course. The very discussion of it with Anthony, Brian, Alex, and Sean sent shock waves through the four 1st grade classes. News of my idea got around quickly and two days later all eyes were on me every lunch hour for the rest of the week to see if I’d execute my plan. The girls that Tammy sat with even made sure to keep one side of the table clear for my friends and me in case the day arrived. That Friday I told my band of brothers that next week was when it would happen.
A week from that day the five of us would walk to the lunch tables with our plastic lunch boxes and sit down across from Tammy and her friends declaring our power to shatter what is socially acceptable in the 1st grade. As the King I would take to my throne with my knights at my side and my Queen across from me. Word spread quickly yet again that next Friday was the day. Tammy smiled each time our eyes met for the rest of the day and each time she did I imagined what it would be like next week to sit across from her face to face rather than back to back.
That weekend my mind raced to my plans. How I would execute it so calmly and confidently. How when I did all the kids would be amazed and applaud me for my strength and worship me for such brazen audacity. Sean and I rode by Tammy’s house on our bikes a few times on Sunday hoping to find her outside. With no luck we began to ride off, but as we did we heard a girl shout out, “WAIT!” We turned around to see Tammy’s best friend Amanda in the window upstairs. We stopped in front of her house. She turned her head and said something to Tammy who appeared in the window smiling that bright smile that I had become so enamored with. I waved confidently and that’s when something happened that I couldn’t have expected or anticipated in any way. Something so huge that my seven year old mind strained to even understand it. Tammy looked at me with that smile and blew me a kiss, but didn’t stop there. After she blew me that kiss she immediately followed it by holding up her hand with “I love you” sign. Sean gasped and exclaimed “WHAT!?” and Tammy and Amanda giggled and hid behind the curtains in her window.
That night I couldn’t sleep. My mind raced with new thoughts and ideas for my Queen and me. It only now being early May there was still time to take it beyond merely sitting at the same lunch table. No that wouldn’t be enough. It was big and exciting but would only be the first step in ending the school year with a bang. I layed in bed that night and made my decision. Before the school year was up I would be sitting next to Tammy at lunch, and would walk through the play ground with her…holding her hand. This would turn the school up side down. 5th and 6th graders were rumored to have done this and maybe a few brave 4th graders. But surely mere 1st graders have never done such a thing. It had everything; controversy, intrigue, excitement, scandal. At first I was afraid of my plan. But this was bigger than me. This was set in motion back on Valentine’s Day and it was our destiny. I couldn’t stop it now.
The next day I played it cool. I focused most of my energy on chicken fighting and didn’t talk much about my plans for Friday and beyond. I mentioned it to the guys one day and they were speechless. They stared at me wide-eyed in awe of my amazing bravery and greatness. And I loved their attention and admiration. As word spread throughout that week I continued to get looks of wonder as I walked by and it energized me. On the monkey bars I was invincible as 2nd grader after 2nd grader fell to my superior chicken-fighting skills. The rumors spread and one night at home my brother Joel, who was in 3rd GRADE, asked me if what he heard was true. “Yes,” I told him. And that was all I needed to say about it. I was becoming a legend that now spanned 3 grades. My Kingdom would soon be mine.
Before I knew it, it was Thursday. That day at recess I took out 3 straight 2nd graders on the monkey bars the last of which was my arch-enemy, Danny, whom I had lost to before. He was visibly angry at his loss and insisted that I didn’t really win yet because he had beaten me last time and that now we were only even. I looked him in the eye and said, “Then lets do it again.” with such confidence that it sent a chill down peoples spines. He answered, “OK. I’m not afraid of you.” “You will be.” I quickly replied. Everyone gasped and several kids droned, “oooooooooo” in unison. I got that line from my older brother, which is one of the few benefits of having an older brother when you’re in 1st grade. But as we strode to our respective sides of the monkey bars, the bell beckoning us back to class interrupted our pressing combat. Danny and I looked at each other. “Tomorrow.” I said. He only nodded his head in agreement.
As I walked back to class flanked on either side by my faithful companions and knights, Alex and Anthony on my right and Brian and Sean on my left, (that’s how we always walked), Alex said to me, “Tomorrow is gonna be a big day for you John.” Yes, yes it was. At recess I would defeat my nemesis on the monkey bars claiming forever my Kingship. And then at lunch I would break down the invisible social walls of the 1st grade by sitting at the table with Tammy, claiming my queen and securing my place in playground lore for generations to come. It would be my finest hour.
I slept easily that night. Confident. Knowing in the very depths of my soul that God had anointed me Lord of the Lower Playground at Stallings Elementary.
There was a buzz in the air the next day at school. Everything was falling into place. Everything was lining up for my coronation that day. Kids I never met were giving me High-Fives and patting me on the back. Girls would giggle and blush as I walked by with my four loyal comrades. And I drank in their affection and worship of me like it was cold water from the hose on a hot summer day. Tammy was wearing my favorite red dress of hers and beaming like the sun itself. Her supreme confidence in me made it impossible for me to be anything but completely victorious. Everything in the world was in the exact right place.
As the bell rang signaling recess time kids from all the 1st and 2nd grade classes raced out side as if the building were on fire so they could get a good spot by the monkey-bars. I strode slowly and confidently to the back of the playground where my battlefield was located. The crowd parted as I approached and many even cheered. Danny was at his end of the monkey bars already… awaiting me. I stared at him with hard narrow eyes as if I were looking through him. I could see the fear in his eyes. And like a shark catching the scent of fresh blood in his nostrils I savored my victory to come.
I was met on my side by Sean, my first Lieutenant and my best friend. Anthony, Alex and Brian had made sure that Tammy and a few of her friends were right up front. I bent down and pulled the Velcro straps on my shoes tighter and stood back up. “You ready?” Sean asked. I glanced at Tammy once more and saw her beaming that intoxicating smile and, once again, holding up the “I love you” sign with her hand. “I’m ready.” I answered, and climbed the three rungs to take my position. One of Danny’s friends stood in the middle to signal the beginning of our epic battle. The crowd fell completely silent in anticipation. Only he sound of the calm spring breeze and the singing of birds was heard.
“Readyyyyy…. GO!” he said and Danny and I carefully made our way toward the center of the monkey bars one rung at a time. As we got closer we began to kick at each other. Our feet ricocheting off one another’s. For what seemed like hours we did this, each of us strugling to gain the upper hand. Then, out of nowhere, Danny made his move. He pulled up to get a one-legged hold on me. I saw it coming and reacted quickly kicking his foot squarely away from me with my left foot sending him off balance. This was it. This was my chance. I picked my right leg up to push him down using his momentum against him. It worked. He was forced to let go with his left hand leaving him dangling one handed ripe for the kill. He swung his legs back trying to regain his balance and I moved in to finish him off. In a panic he lunged his feet at me keeping me at bay long enough to get his left hand back on the rung but was still off balance. Again he lunged his feet directly at me pushing his hips backwards so his feet could get maximum altitude. And altitude they got.
One of his feet plunged into the front of my face pressing my lower lip hard against my teeth tearing the flesh open and sending a searing pain into my mouth. Without thinking I let go of the rung with both hands falling to the ground and landing on my back. I lay there bleeding and crying from the pain of my injury. And after a few seconds all I could hear was the laughter of the 1st and 2nd grade. I opened my eyes and turned my head to see my four friends standing, mouths open in amazement of my dreadful defeat. I looked at Tammy who was more red than her dress with embarrassment. I heard the bell ring again signaling the end of our recess and kids ran back to class laughing all the while at my misfortune. I sat up to find Tammy standing there in front of Amanda. Looking at me with her big brown eyes. I could see tears starting to form in the corners of them. Sensing her deep concern for me I cleared my throat and said, “I’m OK.” She blinked causing the tears to stream down her smooth, soft cheeks. Seeing her compassion for me made all the pain and embarrassment fade into nothingness and I knew I’d be fine. “I’m OK,” I said again. She looked down at me on the ground and exclaimed, “I don’t like you!” and ran away crying, chased closely by Amanda leaving me there by myself. The pain seemed to return after that more intense than before. So I sat there alone... and cried.
I discovered girls at a pretty young age. 1st grade really. I never went through the whole “girls are yucky” phase. Of the 60 or so 1st grade boys at my school only a handful of us made this discovery so early on. The five of us that did naturally gravitated toward each other and formed our little clique of girl watchers. Anthony, Brian, Alex, and Sean were their names I can remember their faces and how their voices sounded even to this day. We would hang out during recess and lunch watching the girls spin on the monkey bars and hang up-side-down waiting for the rare but exciting, girl in a dress hanging up-side-down. We had no idea why this was so exciting. We were in first grade and still had NO clue about any of that. We just knew that underwear wasn’t supposed to be showed off. So when it was, we would gawk openly without fear of being seen, because no one really cared anyway.
Of all the girls in 1st grade, the one we fixated on the most was Tammy Patton. Tammy was a tiny little girl with light brown hair that she always wore in ponytails. She had big brown eyes and a giant, brighter-than-the-sun smile. She wore the color red a lot and I think that is why to this day, red is my favorite color. Then one day… it happened.
That Valentine’s Day it was brought to my attention, after passing through several other people, that Tammy Patton thought I was cute. The pure joy I experienced in that moment is a feeling that has only been surpassed 3 times in my life. When my wife said she would marry me, when my daughter was born, and when my son was born. It was that significant.
By March our “relationship” was in full swing. Which means we would send messages to each other through friends because we weren’t that good at writing notes yet. We’d exchange smiles in class and sit at lunch tables that were next to each other. Boys and girls sitting at the same lunch table was simply unacceptable in the 1st grade. She would watch with a group of girls as I triumphantly took to the monkey bars each day at recess demonstrating my superiority at chicken fighting. I was unbeatable on those bars. I was the tallest kid in 1st grade, which meant I could kick and pull at my opponent with my legs long before they got close enough to retaliate. I owned those monkey bars and everyone referred to me as the King of Chicken-Fighting. I was elated when I found out, one day, that the girls secretly referred to Tammy as the Queen.
Yes, life was good. Everything was going my way and I knew that some day I would be President. I began expanding my challenges to chicken-fighting 2nd graders. It was more difficult and took more strength but I held my own. I lost a few times but it was OK…they were 2nd graders and I was supposed to lose. But 8 out of 10 times I would still reign supreme etching my name into the annals of chicken-fighting history. And with each victory came another smile from Tammy. Sometimes a wave. One time she actually blew me a kiss and I thought my heart was going to pound right out of my chest.
April came. Other girls started to send word to me of their affection. Sara, Jennifer, the two Heathers and a girl named Cinnamon all sought to be my queen. I was flattered but my heart had made it’s decision back on that cold February day and nothing could tear my affections away from brown-eyed smiling beauty. We had grown so close we were sitting back to back at the lunch tables now “accidentally” bumping into each other. Spring was exploding around us and I planned and schemed to be sitting at the same table as her before the end of the year. This was unheard of, of course. The very discussion of it with Anthony, Brian, Alex, and Sean sent shock waves through the four 1st grade classes. News of my idea got around quickly and two days later all eyes were on me every lunch hour for the rest of the week to see if I’d execute my plan. The girls that Tammy sat with even made sure to keep one side of the table clear for my friends and me in case the day arrived. That Friday I told my band of brothers that next week was when it would happen.
A week from that day the five of us would walk to the lunch tables with our plastic lunch boxes and sit down across from Tammy and her friends declaring our power to shatter what is socially acceptable in the 1st grade. As the King I would take to my throne with my knights at my side and my Queen across from me. Word spread quickly yet again that next Friday was the day. Tammy smiled each time our eyes met for the rest of the day and each time she did I imagined what it would be like next week to sit across from her face to face rather than back to back.
That weekend my mind raced to my plans. How I would execute it so calmly and confidently. How when I did all the kids would be amazed and applaud me for my strength and worship me for such brazen audacity. Sean and I rode by Tammy’s house on our bikes a few times on Sunday hoping to find her outside. With no luck we began to ride off, but as we did we heard a girl shout out, “WAIT!” We turned around to see Tammy’s best friend Amanda in the window upstairs. We stopped in front of her house. She turned her head and said something to Tammy who appeared in the window smiling that bright smile that I had become so enamored with. I waved confidently and that’s when something happened that I couldn’t have expected or anticipated in any way. Something so huge that my seven year old mind strained to even understand it. Tammy looked at me with that smile and blew me a kiss, but didn’t stop there. After she blew me that kiss she immediately followed it by holding up her hand with “I love you” sign. Sean gasped and exclaimed “WHAT!?” and Tammy and Amanda giggled and hid behind the curtains in her window.
That night I couldn’t sleep. My mind raced with new thoughts and ideas for my Queen and me. It only now being early May there was still time to take it beyond merely sitting at the same lunch table. No that wouldn’t be enough. It was big and exciting but would only be the first step in ending the school year with a bang. I layed in bed that night and made my decision. Before the school year was up I would be sitting next to Tammy at lunch, and would walk through the play ground with her…holding her hand. This would turn the school up side down. 5th and 6th graders were rumored to have done this and maybe a few brave 4th graders. But surely mere 1st graders have never done such a thing. It had everything; controversy, intrigue, excitement, scandal. At first I was afraid of my plan. But this was bigger than me. This was set in motion back on Valentine’s Day and it was our destiny. I couldn’t stop it now.
The next day I played it cool. I focused most of my energy on chicken fighting and didn’t talk much about my plans for Friday and beyond. I mentioned it to the guys one day and they were speechless. They stared at me wide-eyed in awe of my amazing bravery and greatness. And I loved their attention and admiration. As word spread throughout that week I continued to get looks of wonder as I walked by and it energized me. On the monkey bars I was invincible as 2nd grader after 2nd grader fell to my superior chicken-fighting skills. The rumors spread and one night at home my brother Joel, who was in 3rd GRADE, asked me if what he heard was true. “Yes,” I told him. And that was all I needed to say about it. I was becoming a legend that now spanned 3 grades. My Kingdom would soon be mine.
Before I knew it, it was Thursday. That day at recess I took out 3 straight 2nd graders on the monkey bars the last of which was my arch-enemy, Danny, whom I had lost to before. He was visibly angry at his loss and insisted that I didn’t really win yet because he had beaten me last time and that now we were only even. I looked him in the eye and said, “Then lets do it again.” with such confidence that it sent a chill down peoples spines. He answered, “OK. I’m not afraid of you.” “You will be.” I quickly replied. Everyone gasped and several kids droned, “oooooooooo” in unison. I got that line from my older brother, which is one of the few benefits of having an older brother when you’re in 1st grade. But as we strode to our respective sides of the monkey bars, the bell beckoning us back to class interrupted our pressing combat. Danny and I looked at each other. “Tomorrow.” I said. He only nodded his head in agreement.
As I walked back to class flanked on either side by my faithful companions and knights, Alex and Anthony on my right and Brian and Sean on my left, (that’s how we always walked), Alex said to me, “Tomorrow is gonna be a big day for you John.” Yes, yes it was. At recess I would defeat my nemesis on the monkey bars claiming forever my Kingship. And then at lunch I would break down the invisible social walls of the 1st grade by sitting at the table with Tammy, claiming my queen and securing my place in playground lore for generations to come. It would be my finest hour.
I slept easily that night. Confident. Knowing in the very depths of my soul that God had anointed me Lord of the Lower Playground at Stallings Elementary.
There was a buzz in the air the next day at school. Everything was falling into place. Everything was lining up for my coronation that day. Kids I never met were giving me High-Fives and patting me on the back. Girls would giggle and blush as I walked by with my four loyal comrades. And I drank in their affection and worship of me like it was cold water from the hose on a hot summer day. Tammy was wearing my favorite red dress of hers and beaming like the sun itself. Her supreme confidence in me made it impossible for me to be anything but completely victorious. Everything in the world was in the exact right place.
As the bell rang signaling recess time kids from all the 1st and 2nd grade classes raced out side as if the building were on fire so they could get a good spot by the monkey-bars. I strode slowly and confidently to the back of the playground where my battlefield was located. The crowd parted as I approached and many even cheered. Danny was at his end of the monkey bars already… awaiting me. I stared at him with hard narrow eyes as if I were looking through him. I could see the fear in his eyes. And like a shark catching the scent of fresh blood in his nostrils I savored my victory to come.
I was met on my side by Sean, my first Lieutenant and my best friend. Anthony, Alex and Brian had made sure that Tammy and a few of her friends were right up front. I bent down and pulled the Velcro straps on my shoes tighter and stood back up. “You ready?” Sean asked. I glanced at Tammy once more and saw her beaming that intoxicating smile and, once again, holding up the “I love you” sign with her hand. “I’m ready.” I answered, and climbed the three rungs to take my position. One of Danny’s friends stood in the middle to signal the beginning of our epic battle. The crowd fell completely silent in anticipation. Only he sound of the calm spring breeze and the singing of birds was heard.
“Readyyyyy…. GO!” he said and Danny and I carefully made our way toward the center of the monkey bars one rung at a time. As we got closer we began to kick at each other. Our feet ricocheting off one another’s. For what seemed like hours we did this, each of us strugling to gain the upper hand. Then, out of nowhere, Danny made his move. He pulled up to get a one-legged hold on me. I saw it coming and reacted quickly kicking his foot squarely away from me with my left foot sending him off balance. This was it. This was my chance. I picked my right leg up to push him down using his momentum against him. It worked. He was forced to let go with his left hand leaving him dangling one handed ripe for the kill. He swung his legs back trying to regain his balance and I moved in to finish him off. In a panic he lunged his feet at me keeping me at bay long enough to get his left hand back on the rung but was still off balance. Again he lunged his feet directly at me pushing his hips backwards so his feet could get maximum altitude. And altitude they got.
One of his feet plunged into the front of my face pressing my lower lip hard against my teeth tearing the flesh open and sending a searing pain into my mouth. Without thinking I let go of the rung with both hands falling to the ground and landing on my back. I lay there bleeding and crying from the pain of my injury. And after a few seconds all I could hear was the laughter of the 1st and 2nd grade. I opened my eyes and turned my head to see my four friends standing, mouths open in amazement of my dreadful defeat. I looked at Tammy who was more red than her dress with embarrassment. I heard the bell ring again signaling the end of our recess and kids ran back to class laughing all the while at my misfortune. I sat up to find Tammy standing there in front of Amanda. Looking at me with her big brown eyes. I could see tears starting to form in the corners of them. Sensing her deep concern for me I cleared my throat and said, “I’m OK.” She blinked causing the tears to stream down her smooth, soft cheeks. Seeing her compassion for me made all the pain and embarrassment fade into nothingness and I knew I’d be fine. “I’m OK,” I said again. She looked down at me on the ground and exclaimed, “I don’t like you!” and ran away crying, chased closely by Amanda leaving me there by myself. The pain seemed to return after that more intense than before. So I sat there alone... and cried.
Thus ended the reign of King John the First. Lord of the Lower Playground at Stallings Elementary.
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