I'm a people-pleaser. Like most pastors, I am wildly insecure, (though few will admit how deep their insecurity runs). So I work and work and work and try to make sure that people love and accept me. I try to be funny and entertaining and supportive and empathetic and charismatic and talented and I'm really good at making it appear as if I have my crap together. Because I want people to like me. To accept me. To trust me. To love me. Is that so bad?
As I look at Jesus and read about His life I discover that he wanted those things too. Jesus wanted to be liked, and accepted and trusted and loved and He still does today. In fact the entire premise of the Gospel hinges on the idea that we love, accept and trust Jesus. So I have to conclude that my longing for that same love and acceptance is okay. It's okay that I want, desperately, for people to admire and love me for who I am. It's also okay that you want that. Now, before you get all agitated with me for making assumptions about YOUR insecurity and need to be loved lets just be honest here. You are human and therefore I CAN make that assumption.
You see, I believe we were created by God. I don't presume to know His methods or understand how it all happened or worked but I believe with everything in me that God, in some way, created the universe and then us. I also believe that when God created us, He created us in His image. This means we were instilled with the same thoughts and feelings as Him. It means that we have been wired to share some of the attributed of our Creator. It's like He signed us as a painter would his masterpiece. And so when I look and see that our Creator has a need and longing to be loved and accepted then it is easy for me to see why we, His masterpiece that bears His signature, also have those same needs. The difference between God and us however, is how we handle or desire for love.
I look at the life of Jesus and see it as God's way of literally stepping into our shoes. In Jesus, God takes away our ability say, "But You don't know how it feels." because He DOES know. And in reality, He always has known but we needed the extra evidence of Him actually becoming human. But as I examine Jesus' life and I see that He had the same need for love and acceptance as me, I also find that HIS need for those things manifested in much different ways. Jesus responds to the human condition not by hoarding love but by giving it out generously.
It's as if Jesus is showing us that we are misunderstanding our own need for love. That we have tainted our original design. That our need for love isn't that we receive it as much as it is that we give it away. And that through the acts of giving our love and acceptance to others, it will somehow find it's way back to us. Jesus was NOT like me. He was NOT a people-pleaser. His energies weren't spent so much on being loved and accepted but rather, on loving and accepting others recklessly. I wonder what it would be like if I did this. How much good could I do in this world if I took all the time and energy I put into being loved and accepted and, instead, put it into loving and accepting others? This is what Jesus SHOWS me I can do. This is why Jesus died willingly rather than fighting it. To show us that real love will go the whole way. Real love isn't the kind you long to receive, but the kind you long to give. And I want to start loving like that.
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