If you were hoping to get together with me Saturday night you're out of luck, I have plans. I have a date. But don't tell Krissy because it's not with her. It's with a girl I met about less than two years after Krissy and I got married. And she's younger too. But I can't help it. This girl is the one who made me believe in love at first sight. She's smart, fun to be around, and to me, is the definition of beautiful. Her smile gets me every time. So needless to say I'm pretty excited about this date on Saturday night.
I'm sure you've all figured out by now that my date is with my daughter, Felicia. If you hadn't figured that out yet then you may want to start doing some intellectual exercises because I made it pretty obvious. But I really am excited about taking my daughter out Saturday night. I think that as a father, that's one of my main responsibilities. To show Felicia how she should expect to be loved and treated by a man. Because I know that it's inevitable. One day she'll start seeing men in a romantic context. I have delusions of Felicia joining a convent. I realize that one day, probably sooner than I'd like, I will no longer be the most important man in her life. What's odd is that I am strangely OK with that. (sort of) That fact reminds me of my duty to make sure she has the proper expectations in a relationship.
I see two main ways in which I can accomplish this. The first way is to demonstrate it in how she sees me treat Krissy. If I treat Krissy with respect and love and affection and attention, Felicia will grow up with the distinct impression that that is the way she should expect to be treated by men. If I love my wife and am willing to die for her, Felicia will expect nothing less from the man she marries. The second way is to help Felicia experience some of these things before hand which is what doing things like taking her out Saturday night will accomplish. I will make sure to open her doors for her. I will make sure to give her my undivided attention. I will make sure to tell her how pretty she is. I will make sure to tell her how much I love spending time with her. I will make sure to tell her how smart she is. I will make sure to all of this and much, much more so that when she goes on a "real" date someday, she will not settle for a disrespectful, obnoxious kid but will have the high standards she should have. The way her father treats her is the way she should expect to be treated. I also believe we should expect the same from others.
Look around at the world. Take away all the damage that people have done to it. Thats the world God gave us. Think about something you love doing and are good at. Thats the gift God has given you. From laughter to friendship to music to dancing to food to art to sex. God designed it all for our enjoyment. And then think about the lengths He went to ensure we could enjoy it forever. He was willing to live and die for us...even death on a cross. I think these things should tell us something about how we were created to treat each other.
If God is willing to extend that kind of love and sacrifice to us, shouldn't we be willing to do the same for each other? And shouldn't we be able to expect it from one another as well? I mean God gave us free will. The ability to choose our own way rather than His way is a pivotal gift given to us. And then to show us how serious He was about it, he hasn't interfered even though it hurts Him. As a Christian, I am convinced that living the way of Jesus is the best, most abundant life possible. But I realize not everyone sees eye to eye with me. So I think my responsibility as a representative of Jesus is to acknowledge their right to free will and love the anyway. God doesn't take gifts and abilities away from people because they don't accept Him. If God doesn't withhold love, I shouldn't either.
In the same vein of thinking, I should expect to be treated with respect as to my life choices. Just as I am not here to condemn other people, I am not here to be condemned by them either. Christians are rapidly losing the right to be taken seriously. I don't like to play the victim or the martyr but it's simply true. But I think, no I KNOW, that Jesus would not want us to give up our basic right to be heard and understood. I fully admit that Christians have dropped the ball in the past. We have not wanted to hear and understand anyone else and e are simply reaping what we have sown. But I think we can find a place to stand on in Jesus. By loving people the way He does and protecting their humanity as well.
God treats ALL of us the same. Whether or not we even acknowledge His existence He gives us the same world, the same opportunity to be loved, and the same respect. We should demonstrate and expect the same. Because the way our Father treats us is the way we should expect to be treated.
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