-Jesus, Krissy And Why You Should Be Like Them-

Earlier this week my wife, Krissy, started a new job and was pretty nervous.  This is the first time in 11 years she has changed the company she works for so she's entering unknown territory. But for the last 11 years, (roughly 84% of her adult life), Krissy had worked in a bank in various different positions.  Entry level, supervisory, district operations support and even as a branch manager.  Her new job will have her remaining in the banking industry as an Assistant Manager for a Washington Mutual branch.  But even while remaining in an industry she knows well, and despite being extremely qualified for the position she is assuming, she was nervous.  Personally, I thought she was being hypersensitive about it because her record and resume speak for themselves and there was no need for her to worry.  If you will indulge me, I'd like to take a few moments to brag about my wife.

Krissy is an alumni of California State University at Santa Barbara.  She is one of the few people I know that managed to graduate college in four years rather than five which, to me, is impressive enough.  But in her four years there, Krissy managed to get not one, but two bachelors degrees. One in Business and one in Communications.  In her professional life, Krissy was rapidly promoted from Supervisor, to Assistant Manager, and finally to Branch Manager by the time she was 24.  A few years later she gave birth to the first of our two children and decided to work only part time hours.  For the next several years, the company she worked for used her in several different ways.  She covered branches whose management team was struggling.  She trained new employees or developed current employees into supervisors.  She was placed in branches who were having operational difficulties and performing poorly on audits to help clean them up. She was a commodity and every manager in the region was requesting her assistance in one way or another.  How do I know this?  Because I worked for the same company as her and was a branch manager during her stint and the region's most sought after resource.  Please believe when I say I am not exaggerating the demand she was in.

If you add all this to the fact the she is an amazing mother for our daughter and son and that she is simply the greatest wife in history of the human race, (sorry guys... it's true), you'll see that Krissy really should have had no concern about the job she is now doing.  But she did.  She was worried she was getting in over her head.  She was worried that no one would like her.  She was worried that she wouldn't measure up to her resume.  She was worried that she just couldn't do it. But I think that's OK.

Just before he was arrested, Jesus was praying.  He knew what was coming and was stressed out about it.  All the anxiety and solitude and questions about whether he had done and said everything he was supposed to before his death culminated at that moment and he prayed that if there was any other way humanity could be restored then he'd like to go with Plan B.  But there was no other way.  There was no Plan B.  And Jesus continued on toward his own torture and execution knowing what was coming.

I talk about this moment of worry in Jesus' life because, to me, it really displays his humanity. Jesus was afraid.  Jesus was worried.  Jesus questioned his ability to do what needed to be done.  That is comforting to me.  Because if Jesus wasn't sure if he had the strength and fortitude to move forward then it's OK for Krissy, or me, or you to worry too.  It's OK to question our our ability sometimes.  In fact it's probably healthy.  It's OK to be afraid of failure as long as that fear causes us to focus instead of paralyzing us from moving forward.

Even though Jesus knew that the cross was temporary but his resurrection would be eternal, he was afraid.  Even though he knew that the power of creation was in him, he was nervous.  And even though he knew that time and time again he had seen and been a part of amazing miracles, he was full of anxiety.  And even though Krissy knew her new job was in an industry she was very familiar with, she was afraid.  Even though she knew that she was a valuable commodity in her previous job, she was nervous.  And even though she had countless experiences doing the exact things her new job would require of her, she was full of anxiety.  And it's OK.  Because like Jesus, her anxiety causes her to focus and move forward with strength and the will to do what must be done.  It's OK to be afraid.  It's OK to worry.  They can be your best friend if they help you focus.  But they can be your worst enemy if you let them paralyze you.  Which one will they be for you?

-R.I.P. Max-

A few years ago I had the opportunity and the privilege to visit Fiji on a short-term mission trip with a group of ministry students.  That trip remains one of the defining experiences of my ministerial life and I could tell you story after story of the amazing things that I either saw or got to be a part of.  But don't worry, I won't.  I do, however, have a story from that trip I'd like to share that has nothing to do with the ministry we were involved in on that trip.  It didn't happen during prayer, during a church service, during an evening event, or even during a meal.  It happened in a van.

The group was using two vans to get around and the van I was in was usually driven by one of our group members rather than by a Fijian local.  We were headed back to our Hotel for the night and speeding our way down a long, dark, single lane highway.  As our driver continued on, we noticed up ahead, a dog laying in the road.  We couldn't tell if it was dead or alive so to avoid it, our driver drifted over to the right in the lane of traffic headed in the opposite direction. (They drive on the left side of the road in Fiji and using the oncoming traffic lane to pass is perfectly legal there.)  As he swerved over, he noticed an oncoming car and so he sped up to try to get passed the dog before having to move back into the left lane thus avoiding a head-on collision. Despite what I am 50% sure was his best effort to avoid the dog, our driver was unable to pick up enough speed to avoid both the dog and the oncoming car.  He was forced to get back into the left lane just in time to run the dog over at a high speed.  Now, i can't be certain because it was so dark but I think the van managed to twist the dog in half.  If the animal was alive before we hit it, it sure wasn't anymore.  We named the dog Max.  When we got back to the hotel, you could see some of the remains of Max's innards on the wheel wells of the van.  It was very disturbing but we managed to make a joke out of it the rest of our trip.

I tell this story because I think our lives are like it more often than we think.  Max was in our way. We tried to avoid him but it just wasn't possible without risking the safety of the 8 people in the van.  So we hit him square on and at full speed.  We all have obstacles throughout our life and sometimes we can avoid them.  But other times... we simply have to hit them head on and at full speed.  Because if we don't, then the obstacle wins and hold us back from getting where we want to go.

I don't know where any of you are at in life really.  But i can promise you that if there isn't a dog laying in the road ahead of you right now, there will be soon.  Who knows what it'll be?  A relational obstacle, a spiritual obstacle, a financial obstacle, an emotional obstacle, or even a self-inflicted obstacle.  Whatever it is, you must be prepared to hit it head on and at full speed.  By all means try to avoid it.  Serve out of the way.  But something issues and problems and obstacles in life cannot be avoided and if that is the case; push the pedal down and and twist the obstacle in half.  The bump may be load and send you out of your seat and, like it was with Max, things may get messy.  But it might be the only way move forward and get to where you want to go.

In Philippians, Paul tells us to "not be anxious about anything."  Anxiety has a way of eating away at your joy.  It blocks out anything good that happens to be going on in your life so all you can see is the obstacle in front of you.  But Paul reminds us that worry and anxiety will get us nowhere.  That all it will do is overwhelm us chew up our hope and our joy.  This is not what God wants for us.

Some obstacles are unavoidable.  They're there in front of us and swerving right or left to go around them is simply not an option.  Even if we didn't put it there, sometimes Max is just unavoidable.  So I say hit it.  Hit it head on and at full speed.  The bump will be big but will end.  If it throws you out of your seat you will eventually come back down.  If it gets messy you can clean it up later.  Hit it head on and then watch it fade away behind you as you continue moving forward.

P.S.

I have kept the drivers name anonymous in case there are animal lovers out there who would seek to exact vengeance on  him for Max's death.

P.P.S.

This blog post is dedicated in memoriam of Max the dog.  Thanks for giving all of us in that van an experience we won't forget.  Rest in peace boy. Rest in peace.

-Perpetual Infection of Siblings Syndrome-

My one year old son, Ian, has been sick this week.  It's the first time he has really thrown up so he has no clue what's going on.  The odd thing is that he doesn't have a fever and he's acting totally normal except for the whole horking up chinks of food thing.  Then there's the joy of the obligatory parental clean of the chunks.  Yeah, not exciting stuff.  But if you have multiple kids, you know what I mean when I say there is an even greater concern when one gets sick.  It's called PISS, Perpetual Infection of Siblings Syndrome.  It's a real disease with doctors and drugs and everything.

OK so maybe it's not but it does actually happen so we will treat it like it is.  The general rule of PISS is that one sibling will pass it on to another and they will continue to pass it back and forth for what seems like forever.  The more kids you have, the longer PISS generally lasts.  there is also no real form of prevention.  It's like swimming in a public pool...there's just no way to keep the PISS off of you.  Often times PISS is followed by Chronic Release to Adult Parents or CRAP for short.  If this happens, there is an 87% chance that at least one person in your home will be sick for 10.7 consecutive months.  And don't even get me started on what happens if you have pets.

Krissy and I are currently trying to minimize the effect of PISS and CRAP in out home and scientists are hard at work trying to find a prevention measure.  But until that glorious day finally arrives the rule is simple:  When one of us is sick, we're all sick.  I think this is how it's supposed to be though.

We have a bad habit, as Christians, of alienating other Christians when they have made mistakes and allowed temptation to get the best of them.  People who were once considered close friends are all of the sudden ostracized because they slept with their boyfriend, got caught looking at internet porn, are struggling with alcoholism, or voted for a democrat.  Why do we do this?  Why is it that when these people need the love and support of Christ the most, His representatives, Christians, shun them like they're the Antichrist?  Even an elementary reading of the Gospels would conclude that this is not how Jesus acted or intended us to act.

Christians, every one of us together, are described in the New Testament as "the Body of Christ."  In alienating and ostracizing other Christians we are effectively amputating a part of the body that isn't even infected yet; just wounded.  If I get pneumonia I don't rip my lungs out of my chest because they're making me feel bad.  I devote my energy into helping them heal so that my whole body can function properly once again.  I think this is what Jesus had in mind.

I think He put us here and connected us together as a family of faith.  he gave us a new commandment that we love one another.  He actually used the word commandment not suggestion.  I know it sounds strange, but as a family of faith I think the PISS and CRAP rules apply.  When one of us is sick, we're all sick.  And we should spend our energy helping heal the illness rather than trying to just pull it out of our chest.

P.S.

When I stated that Christians ostracize people for "voting for a democrat" I, in no way, meant to indicate that there is something wrong with democrats who Christians who vote democrat.  I was simply pointing out that many Christians get all worked up over the republican/democrat debate and believe, for whatever reason, that the republicans actually care about the causes of Christ and that democrats worship Satan.  Both perceptions are absurd.

-Don't Stop In Fog-

It was foggy when I drove into the office this morning.  Not too bad but enough to make you pay a little more attention than you normally do.  I got in my car, pulled out of the driveway and headed toward the freeway to get to work.  As I trekked the thin fog I made sure to keep my speed down a little from what it usually is and to turn my headlights on.  I began to remember times when I drove through dense fog.  Fog that made it difficult to see even 20 feet feet in front of me.

I was on the 71 during most of these times, heading home late at night to Corona from San Dimas where Krissy lived when we were dating.  The fog got so bad at some points that me and the few other drivers on the road turned on our hazard lights for a little more visibility.  at first I wasn't sure if this was a great move but then I saw a CHP unit that was doing the same thing so I figured it was OK.  I would also slow down quite a bit as to not come up behind another car too fast.  But one thing I didn't do, ever, was stop.  Because stopping and sitting there until the fog clears up could do more harm and be a grater risk than if I just kept moving forward.

Stopping in that situation would be a huge mistake.  Not only would I not get to where i was going, but I would put my vehicle and myself in danger too.  When things get foggy while driving, you should continue to move forward at a safer slower pace but you shouldn't actually stop.  I think the same is true for our spiritual life as well.

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard Christians say that they aren't moving forward with something because they are "waiting on God."  I hate that expression.  I think most of the time it's just an excuse to not actually make a decision or have to do something.  Don't get me wrong, I know that there are some people who are honestly and earnestly seeking God's direction, but most of the time I don't think this is the case.  I think most of the time we think if we move we'll fail and so we fail to move.

I think the biggest reason I hear for this failure to move is that we want to make sure that this is what God wants us to do.  Whether is has to do with school, work, relationships, ministry or whatever else, many Christians are totally paranoid about making a move or a change that they want to make because they're afraid that it's not what God really wants.  They know where they want to go, but the road seems a little foggy and the way isn't crystal clear so they just stop.  So how should we handle these situations?

Psalm 37:4 says: "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of you heart."  Many of us have heard this verse over and over again but I think we miss all of what it is saying.  We read it to mean that if we honor God and seek Him, he will give us the things that our hearts want most.  While there is some truth to this, I think it's only half of the real meaning here.  I read it as saying that if we honor God and seek Him, then He will give our hearts the things that they should desire.  It's the same verse from a different angle.

This view of this verse has given me permission to move forward even if the road in front of me is foggy.  because rather than knowing I want to do something and having to wait for God's answer as to whether or not I should do it, I view my desire to do it as His answer.  in other words, God is the one who gave me the desire to do it in the first place.  if what I am seeking is not destructive to myself, to others, or to the church, then what is my hesitation?  If it honors God, then I move forward believing He is the one who put that desire in my heart.

Sometimes the way is crystal clear and I can coast forward with great speed and ease because God has cleared the path for miles ahead.  Sometimes the way isn't so clear though.  It is during these times when i proceed with caution, slowing my pace and taking steps to avoid damaging myself or the vehicle carrying me.  But I don't stop moving forward.  because stopping and sitting there until the fog clears up could do more harm and be a greater risk than if I just kept moving forward.

Are you waiting to hear from God about something before you move on it?  Is there a choice you want to make or something you want to do but are afraid of doing it because the road in front of you seems foggy?  Why are you waiting?  If what you want to do is not destructive to you, to others, or to the church then maybe your desire to do it is the answer you're looking for.  Sure, if the road isn't clear, you should proceed with caution.  But don't just sit there. Move forward through the fog.  Don't just sit in it.

-How Many Times Do I Have To Ask?-

So last week I began a two part “blog series” with the idea that when Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me more than these?” He was talking about the fish that Peter had just caught. I won’t recap it because if you really want to, you can just read it again so I’ll just pick up where we left off in the 17th Chapter of John’s Gospel. Continuing from last week it reads:

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "You know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep." The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!"

So here is Jesus who just guts Peter by asking him whether or not he loves Him more than some dead fish and Peter responds by saying, quite sincerely, that Jesus already knows that he love Him. But then Jesus asks again, and then a third time and Peter responds the same way each time. But the third time Jesus asked, John records that, “Peter was hurt.” Why was Peter hurt? The common teaching I’ve heard on this is that Jesus asked Peter three times because Peter had denied Jesus three times and by affirming his love for Jesus three times, Peter was now “even” and could once again assume his role an Apostle. I think there is much validity in this reasoning but I think it misses it a little.

If you read the Gospels, you will see they paint a picture of Peter as someone who is very self-deprecating. Peter strikes me as a man who wants to do the right thing so bad, that sometimes he speaks or acts too soon. In fact, Jesus corrects Peter more times in the Gospels than the other 11 apostles combined. In short, all his mistakes weigh heavily on Peter and he demonstrates very little self-esteem. Peter seems to have the idea that he can’t do anything right. I mean look at his occupation. He was a fisherman by trade but both times we see him fishing in the Gospels, he sucks at it. Seriously, the only recorded times of Peter catching any fish are because Jesus intervened. So what does all this have to do with Jesus asking Peter if he loves Him three times? Jesus was making a point.

Of course Peter loved Jesus. Peter knew and Jesus knew it. Peter even said, “You know that I love you,” all three times Jesus asked. I think Jesus real message was more about making Peter feel OK about what happened than anything else. He didn’t ask him so that Peter would be “even.” Jesus’ death and resurrection already made Peter “even” and Jesus would have known this. This questioning was about Peter knowing he was “even.” It says “Peter was hurt,” when Jesus asked the third time because in asking three times, Jesus is once again saying so much more. Can you hear the rant hidden so gently in Jesus’ words? “There Peter! If you say you love me three times will you stop feeling sorry for yourself? If you feel like I know you love me will you get over this whole denying me thing? Can’t you understand? Do you know why you suck at fishing? It’s because it’s not what you’re supposed to be doing! I told you when we met that, “From now on you will fish for men.” Do you know what “from now on means?” So get up and lets go! Stop feeling sorry for yourself! You have no idea how much of an impact your life will have on this world. So take my hands, the ones with holes in them that were put there so could stop feeling guilty, get up and get moving.”

Jesus wanted to Peter to accept the fact that the past is that past and not the present. Jesus wanted Peter to accept that he had denied Him but to also accept the fact that Jesus is already past that. Maybe Peter couldn’t let it go but he could certainly move on. And the same is true for us. What is it about you that you can’t move on from? What is holding you back from being what Jesus has called you to be? Not just your occupation but your effectiveness. What is it that is holding you back and how many times does Jesus have to ask YOU if you love Him before you finally get it? For Peter, it only took three times. I think for most of us, it’ll take more. So the next time you meditate on Jesus. The next time you are in prayer. Listen for His voice. Listen for that question. Because He’ll ask it as many times as He has to until it sinks in. “Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?”