-My Stolen Instinct-

Watching my kids grow and learn is probably one of the greatest gifts I have been given. Seeing them discover who they are and what they are capable of is something I don't think I could ever get enough of. Just the other day I was playing with my 18 month old son and he went running down the hall yelling, "Ahhhhhhh," as I chased him. It occurred to me that he wasn't always able to run down the hall. He learned how to over time and in a series of steps.

 

There is something within us all, as human beings, that causes us to not be content with just laying around when we are infants. God has designed our minds and bodies with an inclination to be mobile. To be on the go. To move forward.  We're not content with just laying there on our back so we learn to roll. When we master that we try and try to lift our heads up until we can finally see what's in front of us. When we realize we can do that we begin to the hard work of pushing our chests off the floor and begin scooting forward.  After this we discover that we can get our legs underneath us as well and begin to crawl. But are we satisfied with that? No, we are driven to stand up tall and learn to walk. We try, and fail, a thousand times but there is something in us that will not let us give up. Finally, we take our first, real unassisted steps. What a great moment that is. Mom and dad may even write the date down so it's never forgotten. But that doesn't matter to us because we're not done yet. Soon we learn to run and then ride a tricycle, a bike, and eventually, learn to drive. Because from day one, there is just something in us that compels us to be on the move.

 

But something happens to us at some point in our lives. We become content and stop exploring our possibilities. When we're children we can be anything. Astronauts, athletes, world leaders and even super heroes. Our potential is limitless. But something happen along the way. We lose that instinct inside of us that longs to be on the go. To move forward. Or maybe we don't lose it. Maybe it's taken from us by our culture. Taken by the masses who have themselves given up and so they tell us we should do the same. It's just the way of the world. Welcome to reality. The sad thing is that these people usually mean well. Their motive is good because they are, "just trying to be realistic." It's all well and good to be "realistic" but it's the dreamers who change the world, not the realists. The dreamer walks on water while the realists watch from the boat.

 

Watching my son run down the hallway has reminded me to be a dreamer again. To reclaim that which was taken from me that I seemed to have let go so easily. To find within me that childhood instinct to be mobile. To be on the go. To move forward. God has a dream for my life and I am convinced that it is an unrealistic dream. A dream that goes beyond the safety of the realists and has me walking in the liquid footsteps of the dreamer. I hope I will muster the tenacity to follow those footsteps. And I hope you will too.

-Unfriendly Friendly Fire-

I'm a reader. I wasn't always but thanks to a man named Chris Sonksen, one of my life's great mentors, now I am constantly reading. Now, I devour the pages of a book like a Catholic at a BBQ the day before Lent begins. If you're not into reading books, do yourself a favor and start. Force yourself to do it if you have to. It'll just take one book that really grabs you to get you hooked. Start now and don't stop.

Nothing comes without some degree of disappointment though. I read a lot from the different philosophies of Christianity. The Main-liners, the Evangelicals, the Fundamentalists, the Emergents, the Emergings, the Traditionalists, the Ecumenicals and even those who claim to have no attachment to any label. There is so much information and wisdom to be found in each of these points of view that it would be ludicrous for me to pigeonhole myself to only one school of thought. That's one of the advantages in being 2000 years removed from Jesus. It means we have 2000 years of study and wisdom to glean from. Unfortunately it also means we have 2000 years of opinions and personal agendas to sift through. Not an easy task.

In reading various books by various authors representing the various groups of Christianity, I have come to the conclusion that each of these groups share two things in common. First, they all love God and are just trying to point people to Him the best way they know how. Whether it's loving acts of kindness, friendship evangelism, fire and brimstone preaching, tent revivals, stadium crusades, street corner preaching or even telling people they're going to go to hell, all of these people have the same motive; getting others closer to Jesus then they are right now. These techniques are all flawed and no single technique has a 100% success rate.  And while I have my own opinions about the constructiveness of each of these, I do believe that they all aim to point people to God in their own way; and that is a comforting thought.

The second thing these groups have in common is that there is inevitably some people within them who can't wait to tell you how right their group is and criticize the others. All of them. Not one single group is void of this type of mentality. Don't believe me? Go to youtube.com and type in a name of a Christian leader and you will inevitably find a video of another Christian leader telling us how ridiculous the first leader is. The Emergants hate the Evangelicals, the Main-liners hate the Fundamentalists, the Traditionalists hate the Emergings and everybody hates the Ecumenicals. It's sad really. The Army of the Kingdom of God is the only army that shoots it's own soldiers on purpose. It's like we have to watch out for "Unfriendly Friendly Fire."

It's funny that this happened in the book of Acts too. Different groups of Christians arguing over the superiority of their particular philosophy. Paul and Peter calling each other out in public. Paul even went as far as to say he wished that some "agitators" in the other group would just cut off a certain body part. Brutal!

And here we are, with the benefit of 2000 years of study and wisdom and "growth" and we're doing the same thing. Why? Why can't we move beyond our petty need to be right? Jesus said that people would know that we are His disciples by the way we showed each other love. Are we any good at that? It's no wonder that church attendance in the USA is dropping even during a time where interest in the spiritual and supernatural is growing. Who wants to be part of a splintered and combative faith? Don't we have enough conflict in our lives already?

I don't what to do about it really. I mean, I have my own struggles with being critical and needing to be right all of the time. It's a daily challenge for me and love doesn't always come out on top. I just wish that we were better at showing ourselves at Jesus' disciples by loving each other. I wish I was better. What can we do? Any ideas?

-Hollywood Is Right-

Did you watch the Oscars? Fortunately for me I teach a group of young adults each Sunday night so I wasn't subjected to too much of it. I've never really gotten caught-up in all the hype of celebrities patting themselves and each other on the back during the awards season. However I did catch the last few awards. One of these was "Best Actor" in a lead role and it was won by Sean Penn. Now, I think Mr. Penn is a terrific actor. He blew me away a couple years back with his role in "I Am Sam" and I'd love it if he did another role like his classic Jeff Spacolli in "Fast Times At Ridgemont High." But I found his comments awkward. In one breath he said that people who voted against gay marriage should fell ashamed, and in the next breath he praised our new President, Barack Obama, who has publicly stated on several occasions that he is against gay marriage. It seems that Mr. Penn is being slightly inconsistent. I am not commenting on gay marriage or President Obama here, I'm just pointing out a celebrity blunder that will likely go generally unnoticed.

I think it will go unnoticed because both supporting gay marriage and verbally complimenting the President are popular things to do right now for the Hollywood elite. And their biggest party of the year, the Oscars, is the best place to display how socially relevant you are. They all get dressed up in outfits that cost ridiculous amounts of money, (and claim to care about the poor and starving), then strut there wears on the red carpet for all to ooh and aah. Because in Hollywood, your image is everything. And can I tell you something? They're right about that. Image is everything.

Now before you start cursing me as a heretic hear me out. One day some of the religious leaders of the day figured they could throw Jesus off his game with a trick question. They asked Him if it was OK with Jewish Law for them to pay the taxes to Caesar that Roman Law required of them. So Jesus tells them to bring Him a coin and they did. He held it up to them and asked, "Whose image is this? And whose inscription?" (Matthew 22:20 [TNIV]) They answered Him correctly saying that the it was Caesar's image and Jesus responded saying, "Give back to Caesar was is Caesar's, and to God what is God's." (Matthew 22:21 [TNIV]) What a great answer! What strikes me most about it is His use of the word "image."

Jesus points out that since the currency of the day contained Caesar's image we should feel free to give it back to Caesars. The image on the coin is what determined who it should go to. Caesar's image, Caesar's coin. It's that simple. We give the coin back to Caesar because it has his image on it. But Jesus also said to give back to God what is God's.  How do we determine what that is?  To answer that we need to go back thousands of years before Jesus even said this.

In Genesis Chapter 1 verse 27 it reads, "So God created human beings in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27 [TNIV]) So what is it we're supposed to give back to God? He created our entire being in His image. We bare the image of God just as the coin bore the image of Caesar. Jesus insists that God isn't at all interested in who or what we pay taxes to, He's only interested in who or what we give OURSELVES to. Because He knows whose image is on us.

So what are we supposed to give back to God? Everything that we are! Ou bodies, our souls, our minds. Every breath and every heartbeat. Every fiber of our beings belong to God because we bear His image. His inscription has been on us since the day we began living and Jesus insists that we are to give it back to Him. What does this mean for my life? For yours? What changes must we make in order to pay what Jesus insists are the divine taxes we owe to God because we bare His image? God help me to give back to You what is rightfully Yours. Body, soul and mind. Each breath and each heartbeat. Every fiber of my being. Teach me how to give it back to You. Because I bare Your image. And image... is everything.

-Jesus Must Like Whoppers-

I remember one time when I was living in So Cal and had to use the 91 freeway to get to and from work. If you are unfamiliar with the 91 freeway let me just explain that there is NEVER a good time to take that freeway. Weekends, holidays, work days, mornings, afternoons, evenings, nights, and even in the twilight the 91 is bound to have you in stop-and-go traffic one way or the other. As I was in this traffic stand-still one day returning home from work and talking to God about something that was on my mind and heart for a while, He managed to use a billboard to speak into my life. A Geico car insurance billboard that I passed and read just about everyday all of the sudden became the voice of God. Because God can speak to us in strange ways. I wonder how many times I passed that billboard before I finally realized God was trying to tell me something.

 

Since that day I've always tried to be aware of what God might be using to speak to me. For the most part this has been successful but but other times I have found myself over-analyzing things. (See http://www,johndavidhall.blogspot.com/2008/07/housefly-vacation.html for example of this.) God has used all kinds of experiences and avenues to speak to me since then but Jesus must like Whoppers because last week He was speaking to me at a Burger King drive through. Or maybe he was there for the Chicken Fries. I guess that's not really important. I would like to share with you what He said to me.

 

as I was sitting in the drive-through, I looked up and saw a sign with a picture of that creepy looking King they use as a mascot. It read "Do you have what it takes to work for the King?" Instantly I began a personal inventory of whether or not I have the appropriate qualifications to work for "the King." But not the freaky-deaky Burger King guy. I was thinking about Jesus, the King of all creation. Did I really have what it takes to work for Jesus? Could I live up to that? Can any of us?

 

I let my brain and spirit marinade on these questions for a few days.  I allowed them to work on me and in me and in reality I am still very much trying to get the whole message God has for out of this. So far I have come to the conclusion that whether or not I have what it takes isn't really the issue. Moses, David, Mary, Noah, Peter, Esther, Jacob, Abraham, Sarah; none of them had what it took to do what God was asking them to do. They all felt inadequate and under-qualified and God managed to find a way to some great things through them anyway. So if I look at Scripture, it doesn't matter whether or not I have what it takes. That's not the real question.

 

So, what is the real question then? As I considered this I again began to think about the people God engaged with in Scripture. Moses was an insecure mess, David was just a delivery boy, Peter was a self-deprecating manic-depressant. I mean, God's family seems to be the dysfunctional in history. But as I kept examining these individuals and their actions and attitudes it struck me what the real question was.  It doesn't really matter whether or not I have what it takes.  What matters is whether or not I'm willing to take what He has.

 

Am I willing to grab hold of the life God has for me and hold onto it tightly? Am I willing to deny myself in order to take up the cross He has for me? Am I willing to place my own agenda aside and pick up His agenda in it's place? Who cares whether or not I'm qualified? What difference does it take whether or not I already have what it takes? The question is whether or not I trust that God will give me what I need to live the life He has called me to live. It's not my responsibility to make sure my resume fits the job description God is giving me. I job is ALREADY mine. There was no interview or application process. The decision to hire me was ALREADY made. I don't have to concern myself with having what it takes I just need to take what He has ALREADY given me and get to work.

 

P.S.

Is this making sense to anybody? I often post things that God is speaking to me about personally while I am still digesting it all. Am I simply writing a bunch of incoherent thoughts and trying to connect them or is this actually heading somewhere to people other than me? Let me know.

-I Don't Want To Be A Cheap Copy Of Jesus-

I've been going to church regularly for about 18 years now. I realize that to some people that isn't very long and to other it's an eternity but to me it's just the way my life has unfolded. During that time I have been introduced to an immeasurable amount of "Christian" concepts. Doctrine, theology, dogma, apologetics, essentials, non-essentials, allegorical interpretation, literal interpretation, verse by verse studies, subjective studies, I could go on and on. But if I examine all the concepts I've been taught within these "ologies" much of it seems to be based on an interpretation of the words the Bible says rather than the point these words are trying to make.

 

For example, when Christians get together and pray as a group, one of us inevitably quotes Jesus in Matthew 19 saying something like, "Lord, you told us that where two or more are gathered in your name, you'd be there." We can't resist the urge to quote this verse and claim the presence of Jesus in out little meeting. For some reason we also figure that since He said He'd be there with us He must approve of whatever we're doing or deciding in our little gathering. This can be very dangerous. What makes it worse is that if you look at the context Jesus actually said this in, it could change the point. Jesus was talking about confronting another person if he or she offends you. Christians are good at this. Adding meaning where it may not be. Quoting a quaint little verse with complete disregard for the point that verse was actually making. And to top it all off, we add stuff.

 

Now, when I say we add stuff I don't mean we add self-serving gibberish and try to pass it off as biblical truth. (Although that does happen too.) What I mean is that we devise well intentioned concepts and over time, they become so attached to our theology that we never question them. One of these concepts that I have been re-examining and wrestling with is the idea that God wants us be, and we should strive to be "Christlike." On the surface, this is a beautiful concept. What could be more valuable than trying to emulate Jesus? The problem is that the word "Christlike" isn't found anywhere is scripture. Nor is there any passage telling us we should be "like Christ." The closest thing is found in Philippians 2 where Paul says that our "attitude" should be the same as Jesus'. And in this instance Paul was referring to humility and serving others. Here's what I have come up with so far as I wrestle with this. Maybe God wants me not to be "Christlike' but to be "Johnlike" through Christ's reconciliatory work. I'll try to explain.

 

I don't think God is interested in having a bunch of "Jesuses" running around. First off, He knows there is no way we could ever measure up to that standard. So why would He set such an impossible goal? I don't think He would. What I do think is that God wants me to be like the person He has envisioned ME becoming. We often forget that Jesus was a human. He had a personality and idiosyncrasies and maybe even an O.C.D. or two. So if God wanted us to be just like Jesus, He would have wired us all with the same personality, idiosyncrasies and O.C.D.s. But that isn't what he did. So what does this mean then? What can we assume God wants from us? Who does God want us to be?

I think God is a lover of variety and uniqueness. One look at creation should tell us that. So I think that God's goal for me is to be the version of John that He had in mind from the beginning. I don't have the same gifts and abilities as Jesus and neither do you. So why try to become what I CAN'T ever be? I think I should invest my energy into becoming what I CAN be. "Johnlike" is what I want to be. Not the current version of John but the one God dreams I can be. Of course as I strive for that and make changes to the person I am I will take on certain "Christlike" attributes. Of course my attitude will change like Paul suggested it should. Of course my actions will become more loving like the actions of Jesus were. But I wasn't created to be Jesus, I was created to be John. The best, most loving and humble version of John I can be. The version of John that Jesus makes it possible for me to become. Jesus did not redeem me to God so that I could be a cheap copy of Him. He redeemed me to God so that I could be the unique masterpiece He formed me to be. Help me, God, to become that version of John.