-Hear What I'm Not Saying-

There is a new television series premièring tonight on Fox called “Lie to Me.” From what I can gather together with the fragments of promo-commercials that have been run for it, the show is about a group of people working with law enforcement who are experts in picking up on little nuances and idiosyncrasies that can determine, with a high degree of accuracy, whether someone is telling the truth or simply fabricating their story. (Wasn’t that a long, intelligent sounding sentence? I’m pretty proud of it, which makes me kinda sad really.) What a terrific ability that would be to have. Being able to pick up on even the subtlest signs of deception by simply having a better grasp of nonverbal communication.

Studies suggest that the vast majority of the way we communicate is nonverbal. In fact some studies indicate that up to 93% of communication is done in one nonverbal fashion or another. Gestures, facial expressions, body position, eye contact, voice tone and fluctuation, fidgeting, and even breathing patterns are all forms of communication that we send and receive, often unaware. It’s as if we are subconsciously going out of our way to make sure people can hear what we’re NOT saying.

I wonder sometimes what kind of “nonverbals” we send to God. Many people lift their hands as they sing or pray to God as a sign of surrender. Others bow as they pray with their face down as a sign of humility as they speak to One as vast and endless as the Creator of time space and everything in it. Most people will fold their hands and close their eyes as they pray to show they are focused on their conversation with God. (Even if it is a one-sided conversation.) Still others insist on removing their hats to show reverence and respect. All these, and many others, are very good things to do if you find they help you connect with God at a deeper level than you otherwise would have. But does God pick up on other nonverbal messages we send?

The tone in our voice as we hurry through a prayer so we can get started with the meal. The sighs and frustrated breathing we use as we drag ourselves out of bed because we “have to go to church.” The way our eyes and attentions wander around the room during the message at church when God is trying to speak to us through our pastors. The way we constantly look at our watch to gauge just how much longer this service, or prayer, or song, or meeting is going to last. How about the way refuse to even look at a homeless person; someone who God created and loves and who Jesus died for, because then we might feel compelled to actually help them? What about when we roll our eyes when the visiting missionary asks for financial support in trying to show God’s love in real, tangible ways to people who have so little in countries we’ll never go to? What can God hear us NOT saying?

This awareness of my nonverbal messages to God is something I am only now beginning to explore so I have no real commentary other than to say I think that if I learn more about myself and the messages I may be sending it can only be a positive thing. I think digging deeper into my own thoughts and responses in certain situations will only serve to purge those things in me that prevent me from becoming what I was meant to be. So as I’ve come to realize that God can hear what I’m not saying, I hope He’ll help me discover the things I say that I’m not hearing.

-Jesus and the Super Bowl-

The Super Bowl is Sunday.  Many of you don't care.  A few of you pretend to care.  Still others of you actually do care but not because you like either the Steelers or the Cardinals, but simply because it's the Super Bowl.  This is the category I fall in.  I love football.  The strategy, the nuances.  Really, I consider a football game to be a Soap Opera for men.  It has deceit, and drama, and sometimes violence.  Just no dialogue which makes it perfect for men.  But I digress. The last category of people are the ones who care about the Super Bowl because they are fans of one of the two teams.  As a Dolphin fan, this is not a category I have fit into since the early 80's.

These fans generally suffer from a temporary case of insanity who's symptoms include, (but are not limited to):

• Inexplicable increase in voice volume at random times.
• Desire to "high-five" total strangers.
• Celebrating someone else's accomplishments as if they were their own.
• Excessive shouts of "wooo hooo!" and/or "In Your Face!"
• Yelling at the television in the hopes that a coach or referee will hear them in their headphones.
• Excessive self decoration in only two or three colors; sometimes as severe as altering the color on ones skin.
• Denial of reality despite the use of video documentation, AKA: instant replay. (This particular symptom is known as "Raiderous Delirium" because it commonly occurs to fans of the Oakland Raiders throughout the NFL season.)

If you or someone you love shows sign of these symptoms this Sunday, I'm sorry to tell you that there is no known treatment at this time.  The good news is that their return to reality is fairly likely.  More so if the team they are cheering for loses.  If their team wins, they are likely to display some of these symptoms for up to 7 days.  Sometimes people are just too obsessive.

I once heard a Christian speaker suggest that as Christians, we should be able to get just as excited about Jesus as some people do about their favorite sports team.  Our zeal and boisterousness should be equal or greater to that of the thousands of fans that fill entire stadiums to see their favorite teams play.  Quite frankly, I don't know if that is such a good idea.

I don't think face painting, chest bumping and random, incoherent shouting is quite was Jesus had in mind. Besides, it would be difficult to eat ice-cream out of a miniature crown of thorns.  But what scares me the most is how close we really are to being belligerently fanatical about Christianity.  Think about it; we have our own bumper-stickers, T-Shirts, coffee cups, magazines, anthems, web-sites, jewelry, and even our own MINTS.  In a sense, Christians have out marketed major sporting franchises.  Christians can also be way too "In your face" about Christianity that ultimately makes people look at us like we're as psychotic as the scary raider fans who dress up like Gwar every week during football season.  (If you don't know who Gwar is, just do a google image search and you'll see what I mean,)  I don't think that's what Jesus died for.

Don't get me wrong, I believe wholeheartedly that we should be excited about the truth that has been revealed to us and I have nothing against "Christian" products like t-shirts and magazines. In a manner of speaking, this blog itself is part of the "Christian machine."  I think our zeal and excitement about Jesus should manifest itself in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. (These attributes are described by Paul as "the fruits of the Spirit")  Look at that list of qualities again.  Now compare that to a fanatical admirer of a sports team.  Does the fan display any of those qualities?  I think Jesus had something much larger and more revolutionary in mind than a bunch of screaming "fans" to fill his divine stadium. I think Jesus wants us to be ON His team, not just fans of it.

-God Is Purple-

So yesterday Chief Supreme Court Justice John Roberts administered the Presidential Oath of Office to the new President of the United States, President Barack Obama II.  Whether or not you are satisfied with the results of last November's election, you cannot deny the historical significance the event.  We've heard it over and over again; how terrific it is that finally, after over 230 years, a minority was able to win the majority of both the popular and electoral college votes and ascend to the highest office in the land.  Personally, I think God was pretty proud of us too.

I have been very deliberate about not making any of my blogs political commentary.  I am learning that politics and political priorities are personal.  I know that there is a HUGE segment of evangelical Christians that are convinced that God is a republican based on two issues: abortion and gay marriage.  Personally, I think that in a world of 6 billion people, God has bigger fish to fry than whether or not a nation of 300 million people, (roughly one-half of one percent of the global population), think it's OK for a homosexual couple to be "married" according to the nation's standards.  But I digress.  I am learning that a person's political priorities are mostly determined by how God has wired them as an individual.

God has given each of us a different set of gifts and inclinations.  He does this through various channels.  The Holy Spirit, hereditary traits, influences He places in our life, and internal burdens are a few.  That is why I have such a difficult time understanding a Republican Christian criticizing another Christian for voting for a Democrat, or vice versa.  Our political motives are a fruit of spiritual motives and therefore subject to ebb and flow across the Church as a whole. What I mean is that God places burdens in and individual.  So, naturally, that individual will prioritize his or her political views around that burden.  If God has given them a burden for the sanctity of human life in the womb, then they are more likely to place abortion prevention at the top of their list and vote Republican.  But the same God might give another person a burden for feeding the poor.  That person is much more likely to place social reforms at the top of their political agenda and vote Democrat.  And you know what?  They're both right.  Because God isn't red of blue... He's purple.

As Christians, our goal is not to become people that are all carbon copies of one another.  Our goal is to become the individual that God has created us to be.  I love the way way Rob Bell says it in his book, Velvet Elvis.  He says, "Your job is the relentless pursuit of who God made YOU to be and everything else is sin." (emphasis mine).  God wired us with different burdens and priorities for a reason.  Any single objective taken to an extreme, even a good objective like evangelism, can be detrimental to God's plan.  The Crusades and the Inquisition are good examples.  So by giving individual Christians different gifts and burdens God is essentially providing us will a system of spiritual checks and balances.

I don't know where any of you stand when it comes to political opinions and I'm not about to use this blog to vomit out mine.  I am simply trying to express that a person's political views, especially a Christian's, is simply an fruit of the the kind of person God wired them to be.  Believe it or not, the United States is not the Kingdom of God that Jesus was talking about so neither the Republicans nor the Democrats have cart blanch on being "God's party."  It's good to have political views.  It's good to believe passionately in those views.  They are an outpouring of the things that God has placed in your heart.  But yours are no more or less important than someone else's.  One again, our differing opinions are God's system of spiritual checks and balances.  It's good that we have both Democratic and Republican leaders.  It's good that a single party doesn't control the office of the presidency.

Which brings me back to yesterday and why I think God was proud of our .05% of the global population.  We put a minority, a black man, in out most prestigious office for the first time.  I think God was proud of us because we are getting closer to seeing people the way He does.  Not as black, white, male, female, rich, poor, educated, uneducated, fat, skinny or any other label.  We are finally beginning to show signs of seeing a person as simply a human being and understanding the potential that comes with that label alone.  I think think God is proud of us because we are finally beginning to see people the way He does.  I mean, we have a very, very long way to go.  But we're finally past the starting line.  I hope we can keep running. 

-Why Christianity Needs Simon Cowell-

So last night Season 8 of American Idol premiered.  Even if you don't watch the show there is a 96.78% chance that you have a general understanding of how it works.  People get up and sing in front of some judges who critique their performance.  Sometimes they have positive feedback and other times they tear the contestant a new one.  In either case, the feedback they give is generally honest with different degrees of "bluntness" from each judge. But the judge that always gets the reaction is Simon Cowell.

Watching Simon give feedback to people for the first 3 or 4 weeks of each season is the whole reason I enjoy the show.  Is that wrong?  Every freaking year there is a veritable parade of tone-deaf people who are absolutely convinced that their vocal chords have been endowed with the voices of the angels.  Simon sees it as his personal mission to bring them back down to earth.  What strikes me is that just about all of these utterly hideous singers have people in their lives telling them that they are supremely talented.  Who are these people?  Why would you let your friend or kid or sibling embarrass him or herself on public television?  Some people think Simon is cruel for being so blunt with them.  I think it's their friends and family who are cruel for NOT being so blunt with them.  Isn't it better to know what we can and, especially, cannot do?

I think the same rules apply to someones area of involvement in a church.  I think the church would run better, more efficiently, and ultimately closer to God's design for it if 2 things happened.  (1) Christian quit being so stinking hypersensitive and (2) we Christians got ourselves a Simon Cowell.  One of my former pastors was absolutely right when he told me, "It's easier to get a person into a ministry than it is getting them out."  The fact that it's so true is what is so sad to me.  If you can't sing, you shouldn't be singing on the worship team.  If you have leather eardrums you shouldn't be doing sound.  If you have no patience and are annoyed with kids you should stay out of children's ministry.  If you can't remember lines get off the drama team.  But pastors and other church leaders can't say that to people because they'll freak out.

I think as a whole, Christians have become too self-involved with their service to their church. Too many people think that simply handing out a program or setting up chairs or even cleaning up after an event is beneath them.  People try to find a way to get stage time too much.  But what if that isn't what God called you to do?  What if that's what you're not made for?  There are lots of people in my church that LOVE to sing but that couldn't find a key in an empty room with a metal detector.  I hear them every week.  But just because you enjoy something doesn't mean it's what you're MADE to do.  Peter enjoyed fishing but he sucked at it and Jesus told him as much.  I think we need more of that.  I think we should be able to tell someone that they're just not operating in their God-given skill-set and that they need to try something else.  This will only be better for the church as a whole.  The problem is, just like those contestants on American Idol, too many Christians are convinced that they are supposed to be doing what they're doing and will actually leave the church if you tell them otherwise.  This is so sad.

That's the attitude that hamstrings church leaders.  they want to build a better, more effective church in order to make a larger eternal impact but the people in the church are so self-absorbed in doing what they want to do that they don't get it.  they don't see the bigger picture because their tunnel vision is pointed directly at themselves rather than the church as a whole.  The vast majority of these people undoubtedly love God and want to serve Him with all they have.  Their intentions are good, but nearsighted.  We need to be able to accept guidance from our spiritual leaders.  We need to trust that they are trying to build the best most effective ministries for the whole church.  If that means that we, as individuals, need to sacrifice some pride then that's the way is should be.  Jesus made a lot of sacrifices as did many of the first Christians.  They understood that they couldn't be so nearsighted and self-involved because there was something much bigger than them at stake.  In the book of Acts, it was an honor to be chosen to serve widows.  I think if our attitudes were the same, there would be beautiful and wondrous  results. But until then, I think Christianity needs Simon Cowell.

-Date Night-

If you were hoping to get together with me Saturday night you're out of luck, I have plans.  I have a date.  But don't tell Krissy because it's not with her.  It's with a girl I met about less than two years after Krissy and I got married.  And she's younger too.  But I can't help it.  This girl is the one who made me believe in love at first sight.  She's smart, fun to be around, and to me, is the definition of beautiful.  Her smile gets me every time.  So needless to say I'm pretty excited about this date on Saturday night.

I'm sure you've all figured out by now that my date is with my daughter, Felicia.  If you hadn't figured that out yet then you may want to start doing some intellectual exercises because I made it pretty obvious.  But I really am excited about taking my daughter out Saturday night.  I think that as a father, that's one of my main responsibilities.  To show Felicia how she should expect to be loved and treated by a man.  Because I know that it's inevitable.  One day she'll start seeing men in a romantic context.  I have delusions of Felicia joining a convent.  I realize that one day, probably sooner than I'd like, I will no longer be the most important man in her life.  What's odd is that I am strangely OK with that. (sort of)  That fact reminds me of my duty to make sure she has the proper expectations in a relationship.

I see two main ways in which I can accomplish this.  The first way is to demonstrate it in how she sees me treat Krissy.  If I treat Krissy with respect and love and affection and attention, Felicia will grow up with the distinct impression that that is the way she should expect to be treated by men.  If I love my wife and am willing to die for her, Felicia will expect nothing less from the man she marries.  The second way is to help Felicia experience some of these things before hand which is what doing things like taking her out Saturday night will accomplish.  I will make sure to open her doors for her.  I will make sure to give her my undivided attention.  I will make sure to tell her how pretty she is.  I will make sure to tell her how much I love spending time with her.  I will make sure to tell her how smart she is.  I will make sure to all of this and much, much more so that when she goes on a "real" date someday, she will not settle for a disrespectful, obnoxious kid but will have the high standards she should have.  The way her father treats her is the way she should expect to be treated.  I also believe we should expect the same from others.

Look around at the world.  Take away all the damage that people have done to it.  Thats the world God gave us.  Think about something you love doing and are good at.  Thats the gift God has given you.  From laughter to friendship to music to dancing to food to art to sex.  God designed it all for our enjoyment.  And then think about the lengths He went to ensure we could enjoy it forever.  He was willing to live and die for us...even death on a cross.  I think these things should tell us something about how we were created to treat each other.

If God is willing to extend that kind of love and sacrifice to us, shouldn't we be willing to do the same for each other? And shouldn't we be able to expect it from one another as well?  I mean God gave us free will.  The ability to choose our own way rather than His way is a pivotal gift given to us.  And then to show us how serious He was about it, he hasn't interfered even though it hurts Him.  As a Christian, I am convinced that living the way of Jesus is the best, most abundant life possible.  But I realize not everyone sees eye to eye with me.  So I think my responsibility as a representative of Jesus is to acknowledge their right to free will and love the anyway.  God doesn't take gifts and abilities away from people because they don't accept Him.  If God doesn't withhold love, I shouldn't either.

In the same vein of thinking, I should expect to be treated with respect as to my life choices.  Just as I am not here to condemn other people, I am not here to be condemned by them either. Christians are rapidly losing the right to be taken seriously.  I don't like to play the victim or the martyr but it's simply true.  But I think, no I KNOW, that Jesus would not want us to give up our basic right to be heard and understood.  I fully admit that Christians have dropped the ball in the past.  We have not wanted to hear and understand anyone else and e are simply reaping what we have sown.  But I think we can find a place to stand on in Jesus.  By loving people the way He does and protecting their humanity as well.

God treats ALL of us the same.  Whether or not we even acknowledge His existence He gives us the same world, the same opportunity to be loved, and the same respect.  We should demonstrate and expect the same.  Because the way our Father treats us is the way we should expect to be treated.