-Why Christianity Needs Simon Cowell-

So last night Season 8 of American Idol premiered.  Even if you don't watch the show there is a 96.78% chance that you have a general understanding of how it works.  People get up and sing in front of some judges who critique their performance.  Sometimes they have positive feedback and other times they tear the contestant a new one.  In either case, the feedback they give is generally honest with different degrees of "bluntness" from each judge. But the judge that always gets the reaction is Simon Cowell.

Watching Simon give feedback to people for the first 3 or 4 weeks of each season is the whole reason I enjoy the show.  Is that wrong?  Every freaking year there is a veritable parade of tone-deaf people who are absolutely convinced that their vocal chords have been endowed with the voices of the angels.  Simon sees it as his personal mission to bring them back down to earth.  What strikes me is that just about all of these utterly hideous singers have people in their lives telling them that they are supremely talented.  Who are these people?  Why would you let your friend or kid or sibling embarrass him or herself on public television?  Some people think Simon is cruel for being so blunt with them.  I think it's their friends and family who are cruel for NOT being so blunt with them.  Isn't it better to know what we can and, especially, cannot do?

I think the same rules apply to someones area of involvement in a church.  I think the church would run better, more efficiently, and ultimately closer to God's design for it if 2 things happened.  (1) Christian quit being so stinking hypersensitive and (2) we Christians got ourselves a Simon Cowell.  One of my former pastors was absolutely right when he told me, "It's easier to get a person into a ministry than it is getting them out."  The fact that it's so true is what is so sad to me.  If you can't sing, you shouldn't be singing on the worship team.  If you have leather eardrums you shouldn't be doing sound.  If you have no patience and are annoyed with kids you should stay out of children's ministry.  If you can't remember lines get off the drama team.  But pastors and other church leaders can't say that to people because they'll freak out.

I think as a whole, Christians have become too self-involved with their service to their church. Too many people think that simply handing out a program or setting up chairs or even cleaning up after an event is beneath them.  People try to find a way to get stage time too much.  But what if that isn't what God called you to do?  What if that's what you're not made for?  There are lots of people in my church that LOVE to sing but that couldn't find a key in an empty room with a metal detector.  I hear them every week.  But just because you enjoy something doesn't mean it's what you're MADE to do.  Peter enjoyed fishing but he sucked at it and Jesus told him as much.  I think we need more of that.  I think we should be able to tell someone that they're just not operating in their God-given skill-set and that they need to try something else.  This will only be better for the church as a whole.  The problem is, just like those contestants on American Idol, too many Christians are convinced that they are supposed to be doing what they're doing and will actually leave the church if you tell them otherwise.  This is so sad.

That's the attitude that hamstrings church leaders.  they want to build a better, more effective church in order to make a larger eternal impact but the people in the church are so self-absorbed in doing what they want to do that they don't get it.  they don't see the bigger picture because their tunnel vision is pointed directly at themselves rather than the church as a whole.  The vast majority of these people undoubtedly love God and want to serve Him with all they have.  Their intentions are good, but nearsighted.  We need to be able to accept guidance from our spiritual leaders.  We need to trust that they are trying to build the best most effective ministries for the whole church.  If that means that we, as individuals, need to sacrifice some pride then that's the way is should be.  Jesus made a lot of sacrifices as did many of the first Christians.  They understood that they couldn't be so nearsighted and self-involved because there was something much bigger than them at stake.  In the book of Acts, it was an honor to be chosen to serve widows.  I think if our attitudes were the same, there would be beautiful and wondrous  results. But until then, I think Christianity needs Simon Cowell.

-Date Night-

If you were hoping to get together with me Saturday night you're out of luck, I have plans.  I have a date.  But don't tell Krissy because it's not with her.  It's with a girl I met about less than two years after Krissy and I got married.  And she's younger too.  But I can't help it.  This girl is the one who made me believe in love at first sight.  She's smart, fun to be around, and to me, is the definition of beautiful.  Her smile gets me every time.  So needless to say I'm pretty excited about this date on Saturday night.

I'm sure you've all figured out by now that my date is with my daughter, Felicia.  If you hadn't figured that out yet then you may want to start doing some intellectual exercises because I made it pretty obvious.  But I really am excited about taking my daughter out Saturday night.  I think that as a father, that's one of my main responsibilities.  To show Felicia how she should expect to be loved and treated by a man.  Because I know that it's inevitable.  One day she'll start seeing men in a romantic context.  I have delusions of Felicia joining a convent.  I realize that one day, probably sooner than I'd like, I will no longer be the most important man in her life.  What's odd is that I am strangely OK with that. (sort of)  That fact reminds me of my duty to make sure she has the proper expectations in a relationship.

I see two main ways in which I can accomplish this.  The first way is to demonstrate it in how she sees me treat Krissy.  If I treat Krissy with respect and love and affection and attention, Felicia will grow up with the distinct impression that that is the way she should expect to be treated by men.  If I love my wife and am willing to die for her, Felicia will expect nothing less from the man she marries.  The second way is to help Felicia experience some of these things before hand which is what doing things like taking her out Saturday night will accomplish.  I will make sure to open her doors for her.  I will make sure to give her my undivided attention.  I will make sure to tell her how pretty she is.  I will make sure to tell her how much I love spending time with her.  I will make sure to tell her how smart she is.  I will make sure to all of this and much, much more so that when she goes on a "real" date someday, she will not settle for a disrespectful, obnoxious kid but will have the high standards she should have.  The way her father treats her is the way she should expect to be treated.  I also believe we should expect the same from others.

Look around at the world.  Take away all the damage that people have done to it.  Thats the world God gave us.  Think about something you love doing and are good at.  Thats the gift God has given you.  From laughter to friendship to music to dancing to food to art to sex.  God designed it all for our enjoyment.  And then think about the lengths He went to ensure we could enjoy it forever.  He was willing to live and die for us...even death on a cross.  I think these things should tell us something about how we were created to treat each other.

If God is willing to extend that kind of love and sacrifice to us, shouldn't we be willing to do the same for each other? And shouldn't we be able to expect it from one another as well?  I mean God gave us free will.  The ability to choose our own way rather than His way is a pivotal gift given to us.  And then to show us how serious He was about it, he hasn't interfered even though it hurts Him.  As a Christian, I am convinced that living the way of Jesus is the best, most abundant life possible.  But I realize not everyone sees eye to eye with me.  So I think my responsibility as a representative of Jesus is to acknowledge their right to free will and love the anyway.  God doesn't take gifts and abilities away from people because they don't accept Him.  If God doesn't withhold love, I shouldn't either.

In the same vein of thinking, I should expect to be treated with respect as to my life choices.  Just as I am not here to condemn other people, I am not here to be condemned by them either. Christians are rapidly losing the right to be taken seriously.  I don't like to play the victim or the martyr but it's simply true.  But I think, no I KNOW, that Jesus would not want us to give up our basic right to be heard and understood.  I fully admit that Christians have dropped the ball in the past.  We have not wanted to hear and understand anyone else and e are simply reaping what we have sown.  But I think we can find a place to stand on in Jesus.  By loving people the way He does and protecting their humanity as well.

God treats ALL of us the same.  Whether or not we even acknowledge His existence He gives us the same world, the same opportunity to be loved, and the same respect.  We should demonstrate and expect the same.  Because the way our Father treats us is the way we should expect to be treated.

-Good Communication-

The key to good communication is brevity.

Happy New year everyone!

-While They're Not Looking-

Krissy and I were very fortunate to get a girl and a boy when trying to have kids.  It means we won't have to take any chances with our reproductive efficiency.  I know several couples who have tons of kids because they kept trying for that boy or girl they didn't have yet.  In many ways it's funny; as long as it isn't happening to me.  Years ago, Krissy and I decided that we would stop at three kids no matter what.  The scary part is that twins run on both sides of both of our families. So I biggest fear was trying for the third one and having twins.  God's kind of a funny guy with that kind of thing. Luckily, we won't have to worry about that though.

Having kids is so much more intense than I ever imagined.  One night, shortly after Felicia was born, I was laying in bed and worked myself into full "pissed-offed-ness" by just thinking about the idea of someone trying to take her from us.  Seriously I was ready to hurt someone and the whole thing was just a hypothetical that I created myself.  But adversely, certain thoughts about my kids can bring great joy as well.

But I'd have to say that one of the best parts of having kids is just watching them.  Our five-year-old daughter, Felicia, is great to watch because she uses her imagination more and more everyday.  She dances around and sings pretends she a character from one of her books.  For Krissy and I, it's so beautiful to watch.  She is also blowing us away with how smart she is.  I don't like to be "that parent" that insists his kid smarter than everyone else's but seriously, she's amazing us.  We had our first parent/teacher conference with her Kindergarten teacher this year and she was going over what they call "sight words."  these are words that the kids are supposed to be able to read by just looking at them.  Of the 19 kids in her class she said most of them know between 4 and 9 sight words which is normal.  A few others knew up to 12 which was great. Felicia knew 44!  Yes, 44!  And at this point she is reading entire books on her own.

Our son, Ian, is about 16 months old.  He's load and often obnoxious.  He totally gets that from Krissy.  He is extremely curious.  He's always opening drawers and then closing them.  he likes taking the back off the remote controls and pulling the batteries out just to see if he can put it all back together.  He pushes buttons on the TV to change the channel or just turn it off.  Right now one of his favorite things to do is walk up to Felicia and just grab a handful of hair and then YANK.  Laughing hysterically the whole time.

I express all of this to let you know the sheer joy that comes with simply watching your children be themselves.  If you are a parent you probably know exactly what I mean.  But you know when the best time to watch your kids is?  When they don't know that you're doing it.  When they don't know they have an audience kids true personalities come out and when it is your kids, it can bring you to tears to see.  They dance just a little bit more freely. They sing just a little bit louder and out of key.  They get into just a little bit more mischief.  And they make a much bigger mess. It truly is one of the great joys of being a parent and I believe that God is trying to tell us something through it.

I have yet to meet anyone who has seen God face to face or to do so myself.  God is mysterious. I won't go as far as to say that He is hiding from us but I think there is a reason He doesn't just walk in and sit down next to us.  I know about the whole "humans can't actually see God and live," thing but I think there is more to it than that.  Because He is God and can do anything so if He really wanted to He could meet for lunch whenever or wherever.  So there must be more to it than that.

Through out scripture, we are referred to as "God's children."  From Genesis to Revelation God is constantly reminding us that we are His kids.  One of His most commonly used identities is even "Heavenly Father."  Well, maybe He thinks the best, most precious and rewarding times to watch His kids is when we don't know He's watching?  What if that's one of the reasons we don't see Him face to face.  Maybe one of the great joys of our Heavenly Father is simply watching His kids when they dance a little more freely, sing a little bit louder, and make a bigger mess.

I know that isn't the only reason God doesn't just show up at Taco Bell while we're having lunch. I know that it is much more complex than that.  But I also know what it is like to be a daddy.  I know the fears and laughter and joys and responsibilities that are attached to that title and I know how great it is sometimes to just watch your children.  And I think maybe God loves to watch us too.  I think He He takes great joy in our just making our way through this life He has given us. Thank you God for this life.  I hope that watching me will sometimes put a smile on your face.

-A Five-Year-Old's Philosophy-

My daughter goes through strange phases.  I'm not sure how common they are but Krissy and I have grown accustomed to them over the last few years.  What she'll do is get really concerned about something and then keep asking us about it over and over again.  For instance, not long ago she was worried about using the toilet.  Why?  Because she was petrified that the toilet would clog. So every time she had to go the bathroom she would ask us, "Am I going to have an overflow?" This kind of thing goes on for months at a time.  But with her new O.C.D. she once again illuminates to me a theological life lesson.

Lately her concern has been whether or not she'll get in trouble for saying something wrong or whining too much.  She'll say something innocently that she probably shouldn't say like, "Jingle bells homework smells the teacher's really mean," and I'll let her know that it's not very nice to say that her teacher is mean.  Especially considering how great her teacher is and how much Felicia really likes her.  But her response is what is interesting.  She'll then ask , "Can I say it in my head?"  She's asking me if it is wrong for her to THINK things but not say them out loud.  This puts Krissy and I in an awkward position but Felicia solved it for us one day when she started saying, "OK if I say it in my head I'll just ask God to forgive me."  It's so simple for her.

Jesus said a lot of very cool, life-changing, world-altering, culture-shattering things when He walked around ancient Israel.  One of His most well know concepts was the idea that each of us should strive for what He called a "childlike faith."  What exactly Jesus meant by this is debatable in our world today but Felicia's recent concerns have helped to point me in what I feel is the right direction about it. When she asks, "Can I say it in my head," and then solves her serious moral dilemma with, "OK if I say it in my head I'll just ask God to forgive me," she demonstrates a childlike faith.

First, her concern is rooted in the right place.  She isn't worried about where her next meal is coming from or whether or not the economy is going to turn around.  She is simply worried about doing the right thing.  She wants to make sure that even the things she THINKS are OK.  Her priority is being a good girl.  In fact, that is her only concern.  But she doesn't stop there.

Felicia is realistic enough to know that she probably won't always do, say or even think the right things.  So her very basic response is that she'll just ask God to forgive her and that'll be the end of it.  She isn't concerned whether or not He will, she simply accepts that the act of asking forgiveness will take care of it.  She also doesn't continue to beat herself up when it's over.  She tells God she's sorry and moves on with her day.

For a five-year-old, Felicia seems to have a lot of things worked out that I, at 30 years old, am still trying to wrap my mind around.  Fortunately for me, Felicia is there to teach me a few things about life, love, faith and God.  Her philosophy is a simple one really.  She just tries to be a good girl, the best girl she can be, and all she cares about being.  But when she fails.  When she says the wrong thing or even thinks something she's doesn't think she is supposed to, she simply asks God to forgive her and moves on with her life knowing that He will.  I think I need to do that.  To just try to be the best man that I can be and when I fail, to understand that God will forgive me and then move forward with my life; trying, once again, to be the best man I can be.