Wednesday, May 27, 2009

-Gay Marriage Questions For Everyone-

I've been pretty deliberate to not blog when it comes to politics or my political views. I usually try to keep my blogs to spiritual issues or, in most cases, my own mindless ramblings about things I think are fascinating but the rest of you wonder what I'm even so interested in. And while I think this post is more spiritual than political, many people will view it as the reverse. With that disclaimer, I'll begin.

Yesterday, (05/26/09), the California Supreme Court ruled to confirm the November 2008 California ballot initiative known as Proposition 8. In a nutshell, Prop. 8, which passed by a margin of 4%, defined marriage in California as being between 1 man and 1 woman, effectively closing the door to gay couples getting married. The State Supreme Court basically said, what the majority of voters want is OK with us. (Of the 7 judges, 6 voted to confirm Prop. 8 and only 1 voted to overturn it.)

I don't know where any one of you stands on this issue. Due to the general content of most of my blogs, I am persuaded to believe that most of you are against gay marriage. I'm some of you aren't and quite frankly where you stand on this issue is not my concern. The point of this blog is NOT to influence anyone to one side or the other. What I want us ALL to do is ask ourselves a few questions and really consider then before "towing the party line," whatever party you may be in. So, below are some questions we need to ask ourselves before we get so emphatic about this, clearly, polarizing issue. 

1. Are we all prepared for the probability that gay marriage will be legal within the next 2 election cycles?
It is VERY likely that gay marriage will be legal in California in a matter of just a few years. Those against gay marriage should not simply plug there ears and pretend this isn't true. This is the direction that our culture is headed and that's all there is to it. I am not suggesting you change your beliefs or that you give in and vote contrary to your own convictions. I am simply suggesting that, baring an act of divine intervention, (which God rarely does in matters like this), the outcome will eventually turn toward legalizing gay marriage. Now, if you are for gay marriage you should prepare for this day with a certain degree of anticipation but please, if and when gay marriage is legalized, accept it with humility and not with an "in your face" attitude.

2. If gay marriage IS legalized, where then do we draw the line?
What happens when we redefine marriage? Other groups will come out of the woodworks with a cry of "Hey, what about us?" Will polygamy, (the practice of having more than one spouse at a time), be allowed next? Will someone be able to marry a dog? A tree? A corpse? I know these sound like far-fetched examples but if there is anything we have learned about people in our society it's that there is not limit on how far we can take something. Look up an organization called NAMBLA and you'll find proof of what I'm talking about. We need to be aware of where the line should be drawn.

3. Are we too hung up on the word "marriage"?
This is a question for both sides. If you are against gay marriage you probably feel that way because of certain faith-based morality and applaud your commitment to your convictions. But if God doesn't recognize a union between a gay couple then do we really care if the State of California does? Why are we OK with it if a heterosexual couple who had sex while they were dating gets married? Isn't their life-style just as sinful? If you are FOR gay marriage you may not be aware that same-sex couples who had civil unions already have the exact same rights as married couples in California. So why the NEED for the word "marriage"? Is it out of spite for "those religious people" who you just don't like?

4. What happens to clergy and church rights if gay marriage is legalized?
One of the reasons many churches are against gay marriage is because it creates a concern that the ministers, pastors and priests will be FORCED to perform ceremonies for a same sex couple regardless of their own personal convictions. As a pastor, I could be fined or jailed for refusing to perform a wedding ceremony for a same sex couple because I would discriminating. Doesn't this infringe on my Constitutionally protected freedom of religion? The same is true for the actual church facilities. Churches could theoretically be fined or lose their tax-exempt status for not allowing a gay couple to be married in their church. I think this is a travesty. You don't extend rights to one group, and in doing so trample the rights of another. And before anyone starts the, "Gay people don't want to do that to churches" argument, let me just say this. You're wrong. While the VAST majority of the gay community wouldn't want this to happen, there are activists in that community that would do just out of spite for how they've been, "mistreated by those religious people for years." It's the few that WOULD make an issue out of it that worries me.

5. For all our talk of love and equality, what's our real agenda?
All of us need to check our hearts. If you are against gay marriage out of your commitment to Biblical principles then you must also take into consideration the attitude with which you express those principles. Are we, as Christians, being an extension of God's love and grace? Is that the message we are sending? I believe there is way to disagree with someone's lifestyle without alienating them. I believe you can be against gay marriage but not against gay people. because Jesus was and is always FOR people. He expressed our need to change by dying for us. As Christians, are we willing to express others need to change by dying for them? If you are for gay marriage, is it really about equality for you? Or is it just about winning? If people against gay marriage should just accept you for who you are then shouldn't you just accept them for who they are? 

I have made a VERY concerted effort to not list where I stand on this particular topic. Those of you who know me probably know that. But the point of this blog wasn't to express where i stand but to try to help all of you have a better understanding of where you stand and, hopfully, where others are coming from. All of these are highly personal questions that I am not saying an entire people group should ask themselves but that individuals should ask themselves. Don't answer for the group of people who share your point of view but answer for yourself. With brutal honesty. Then encourage others to do the same. Only by seeing someone else's point-of-view will we really grow. I am not saying we have to agree with them. But I am saying that we should make an honest effort to understand them. Then, maybe we can disagree without demonizing our opposition.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

-Reverse Theology-

There is this method of motivating people that I think I probably first heard about in an episode of The Brady Bunch or some other old sit-com. The idea is that you deceive another person to believe that the results that you want to happen are actually the opposite of your real desired results. This type of approach is called "reverse psychology" and I'm quite sure you've heard the term before. For some reason this came to mind the other day as I was reading the passage in the Bible that can be heard in about 86% of all weddings. 1st Corinthians 13.
  
As i came to this chapter, which describes what love is, isn't, does, and doesn't do, I began to try to look deeper. I mean, I've read and heard this passage countless times but I knew there was still more to draw out of it. That's when the reverse psychology concept hit me. I thought to myself, what if I looked at the opposite of all the things this chapter says about love to draw out a more specific understanding of it? What if i employed a system of what I am calling; "Reverse Theology?" (By the way, I don't believe for a second that I am the first person to use that term so please don't send me comments about how I stole someone else's idea. Besides, in ministry there is no such thing as plagiarism.) What could I learn about love that way? Lets see shall we?

If "Love is patient" then we can also assume that it is not in a hurry. It doesn't need everything RIGHT NOW. This may be a great thing for single girls and guys to remember when they're in a relationship, (especially girls). If the person you are with is not being patient then you have to wonder how much they really "love" you. Love is not in a hurry.
 
If "love is kind" then we can also assume that it is not mean. I realize this sounds elementary but it's true. Love does not mistreat others. It doesn't dehumanize people either. Doctors are taught to detach themselves from their patients to avoid emotional involvement. This is a cold approach that love doesn't take. Love is kind and values people and life.
 
If love "does not envy" then we can also assume that it celebrates the fortune of others. That means when someone else gets the promotion instead of you, love celebrates their achievement. It doesn't mean you're not disappointed, but it means you don't target your disappointment at someone else. Love is happy when good things happen for anybody. Even when it's not us.

If love "does not boast" then we can also assume that it remains humble even when it has reason not to. So when you DO get the promotion, love takes the responsibility seriously and doesn't talk about how much it deserved it. When good things and blessings come, love quietly accepts it with gratitude.
 
If love"is not proud" then we can also assume that it doesn't need accolades and credit for every accomplishment. Ronald Reagan said it well, "There is no limit on what a man can accomplish if he doesn't care who gets credit for it." Love doesn't seek credit, rather it seeks to pass credit on to others.
 
If love "is not rude" then we can also assume that it is polite. Love says things like, "please" and "thank you." And especially things like, "after you" and "please take MY seat." It's not always easy, but love is polite and has manners.
 
If love "is not self-seeking" then we can also assume that it is generous. Love gives more than it takes. In fact love doesn't even take, it accepts when it is offered something freely. Love is willing do without so that others don't have to. Love is generous.
 
If love "is not easily angered" then we can also assume that it keeps a level head. Love realizes that other people are not perfect and makes allowances for that just as James instructs us to. Love has a looooong temper. Not something that is easy to have.
 
If love "keeps no record of wrongs" then we can also assume that it does keep a record of "rights." Love remember the good that others do. Love learns from the positive contributions people make and helps them learn from their mistakes. Love doesn't allow itself to become bitter.

If "love does not delight in evil" then we can also assume that it mourns it. Love sees injustice and hurts with those that are suffering. Love feels sorrow and grief when it sees senseless acts of ambition at the expense of others.
 
If love "rejoices in the truth" then we can also assume that doesn't keep the truth hidden. Love seeks truth in everything it sees and when it finds it, love celebrates it and shares it without prejudice. Love cannot keep the truth under a rock. It understands that truth exists for all people everywhere.
 
If love "always protects" then we can also assume that it never lets other be exploited or taken advantage of. Love is moved to action by the suffering of others. Love protects the image of God that all people were created in and recognizes that no one life is more valuable than any other.
 
If love "always trusts" then we can also assume that it is not suspicious. Love doesn't look for reasons to accuse people of wrong-doing. Love takes things as they are not wondering what someone might be up to. Love believes in others and works to bring the best out in them rather than assuming the worst about them.
 
If love "always hopes" then we can also assume that it isn't pessimistic. Love always hopes for the best instead of assuming the worst. Love recognizes that as long as there is a tomorrow things can be better and works to make it happen.
 
If love "always perseveres" then we can also assume that it never gives up.  Love does not end. Love has no expiration date. When love is abused is still loves. When love is taken for granted, it still loves. Love is willing to go all the way to the end, even if that end is on a cross.
 
So there's my exploration of 1st Corinthians 13:4-7 using "reverse theology." It was a good experience for me so i thought I'd pass it on. I hope you got something out of it. I'd love to know what you think I missed. Surely I didn't cover it all so please, comment and tell what else we can assume about love from reading this passage. I hope you'll try some "reverse theology" next time you come across a passage that it could apply to.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

-Change The World Through Procrastination-

I'm a total procrastinator. I know there are a lot of us out there. Our mantra is "Why do today what you can put of until tomorrow?" and one of these days I'm going to start a facebook group for us. The thing about knowing you're a procrastinator is that it really takes away any excuse you might have to not get something done. You lose the ability to even lie to yourself anymore once you realize you have a tendency to put things off. Then you're only a short step away from the understanding that procrastination is just another word for lazy.

Even typing that last sentence hurt a little. No one wants to be called lazy; especially if they actually are lazy. But self-actualization is important. Knowing you shortcomings and claiming them is step one in the process of allowing God to overcome them. My choice of words was very intentional. It is important to understand that YOU don't have to overcome your "flaws." It is important to understand that you are free from climbing that mountain alone. It is important to understand that God has a history of doing this for us if we just work WITH Him.

The Bible is filled with stories about people with flaws and shortcomings. One of the things that makes Scripture so compelling is that it is full of people just like us. Flawed, imperfect people who make one mistake after another. Here's some examples:

-Abraham was too old
-So was Sarah
-Jacob was a liar
-Moses stuttered
-He was also a murderer
-So was Paul
-David was too
-He was also an adulterer
-And a liar
-Peter denied Jesus
-He was also just a fisherman
-So were James and John
-The thief on the cross was a thief
-AND he was hanging on a cross
-Mary was a virgin
-Elizabeth was barren
-Lazarus was dead
-So was Jesus
-Paul was in prison
-Solomon had 300 wives (as well as mother-in-laws)
-Joseph was a slave
-Jeremiah suffered from depression
-Timothy was too young
-And Samson had long hair

Thats a lot of stinkin' shortcomings. But God manages to not only use these men and women despite these "flaws," in many cases He is able to use them BECAUSE of these "flaws." These people are all considered "Heroes of the Faith," (to use a Christianese phrase), and they are just as deeply insecure and troubled as I am. Shoot, I'm just a procrastinator. Surely if God can do powerful things through a murderer He can use me in big ways too. 

Acknowledge and even claim your shortcomings. Own up to them. Then let God start to work through you anyway. As he does you'll find yourself in a place where those shortcomings you once had are gone. They will have been eliminated through the sheer addiction of being used by God. I'm a procrastinator. But I'm not as bad as I was a year ago. And next year I'll be even better. And one day, if I work hard enough for God, I won't be a procrastinator anymore. If David can do what he did and still be loved deeply by God then I really have no excuse to not change the world. And neither do you.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

-10 Things That Get On My Nerves-

Do you have things that get on your nerves? Of course you do. i feel it's healthy to get these things out. So below are 10 things that really get under my skin. This is by no means an exhaustive list but it's a start. The most irritating part is that I'm guilty of many of these so, by definition, I annoy myself often. Here's 10 of mine though:

1) When people leave their blinkers on and don't change lanes.
I don't know what it is about this that just gets on my nerves but that constant yellow flashing in front of me for no reason is the visual equivalent to nails on a chalkboard for me.

2) When people bring more than 15 items into the express lane.
OK, I admit it. I'm a item counter. So sue me. I just find it arrogant and rude to believe that rules like this don't apply to you. 16 items is one thing But where does it stop? 20? 25?

3) When women wear clothes that are tight and revealing and then complain that men gawk at them.
Seriously, why is modesty such a problem these days. Sure we should always be respectful and not objectify women but, ladies, HELP US OUT. Especially if you think it's wrong for men to stare.

4) When I can't have a normal conversation with another Christian.
Does it bother anyone else when another Christian has to quote scripture to you the whole conversation? Don't get me wrong, I love the Bible... a lot. But when I ask "How are you doing?" I don't need to be reminded that "This is the day the Lord has made." And if I tell you I'm tired, I don't need to be reminded that Jesus said, "Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest." I'm glad you're memorizing scripture and excited that you can apply it to daily life. But please, can we just chat, one human being to another?

5) When people think their car is too important to merely use up 1 parking space.
This really gets on me nerves in crowded parking lots but it is always just plain rude. Once again is displays an arrogance that seems to say, "The rules don't apply to me!"

6) Drama-prone people.
This is the kind of person that moves from one life crisis to the next. There always has to be a major issue going on with them. If there isn't, they find a way to cause one. Some people just don't know how to be happy I guess. It's probably a serious issue that they need help with too and usually I feel very bad for them. That is until their self-induced life crisis vomits all over me. I try to help but, for me, people like this suck the energy right out of me.

7) When someone has to "1-Up" everybody else in conversations.
Have you ever been talking to some people about something that happened to you and then someone steps in and say, "That's nothing," and then proceeds to share how their experience makes yours look lame? I'm sorry I wasted everyone's time with my "nothing" story.

8) When someone speeds up so I don't get in front of them on the freeway and then proceeds to slow down to 60 mph.
What the heck!? I just don't understand the HURRY UP AND SLOW EVERYONE DOWN mentality. These people have a sense of urgency for about 4 seconds and then it magically disappears.

9) Militant Raiders fans.
OK I'm all for being a fan of a sports team. I love sports and have favorite teams myself. Shoot, I'm even generally OK with some of the body-painting or bizarre outfits. But I should be able to cheer for whatever team I want in whatever stadium I want without the fear of being assaulted for it. But if I go to the Oakland Coliseum and root for the Dolphins, there's a 78% chance I'll be leaving the stadium in an ambulance. Settle down Silver and Black Brigade. Why are you all so bent out of shape anyway? Is it because the Raiders suck? (P.S. Red Sox fans are not far behind on this one)

10) Oblivious Drivers
Hey, lady. THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE ON THE ROAD! I am a true believer that I am not only responsible for the safety of the people in MY car but also people in the cars around me. I think that not killing anybody is a pretty big priority. So when you're driving, pay a-freaking-tention. Get off the phone, put the burger down, and for the love of God and everything that's holy, put your make-up on at home.

So there's my 10. I know it's a super spiritual blog post but like I said, I think it's healthy to get these things out in the open. Did I miss anything? Do you agree with these? Do you take issue with any of them? What did I forget? I'd love to hear what you think and what gets on your nerves.